Hello,
New here and feeling worried about my mum. My mum was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with mouth cancer, she had surgery for 16hrs on Monday - unfortunately things had progressed more since we last saw the consultant and they removed most of her tongue, the floor of her mouth and a lot of teeth and also glands on both sides of her neck. They took muscle from her thigh to construct her flap (or her new tongue as we call it for ease).
I was allowed to go and see her in ICU on Tuesday and she was doing really well but since she moved to a high dependency unit have not been allowed to go on again. I can’t see her until Monday when she has been in for a week. I speak to the nurses 3/4 times a day but feel very worried when I can’t see her or speak to her. Apparently she got very panicked last night over her tracheotomy - it’s all fine but tells me she is feeling overwhelmed. Which is understandable after everything she has been through. I just really wish they would let me see her for a brief visit, I know I could reassure her and she would feel better and recover better having one of her loved ones around.
Feeling very helpless and frustrated right now, would be good to hear if anyone else is supporting a loved one through a similar experience where they can’t be with them because of COVID rules at the hospital.
Thanks
Hi and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis and the ongoing challenges that Covid has brought.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be very challenging but talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer support journey (my one is completely different) will help you navigate this difficult time.
There are many cancer types so likewise the Community has many cancer specific support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Head and neck cancer group as this will be a good place to connect with folks on the same cancer treatment pathway.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Carers only group where you will connect with others supporting family and friends during these Covid times.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best ((hugs))
