Breast cancer

Hi Babafudge and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your Breast Cancer diagnosis.

A cancer diagnosis in the family can be very challenging in many ways and I am sorry to hear you feel let down by your sister but it’s good that you have friends looking out for you.

Talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer journey will help you navigate this difficult time.

The Community has many cancer specific support groups and I see you have joined and posted in our supportive Breast cancer group as this will be a good place to connect with folks on the same cancer treatment pathway.

It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.

We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.

To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers check our Online Information and Support Section. 

All the very best ((hugs))

thank you. It's not the easiest thing to accept others reaction to my health condition especially when it's a sibling. I guess it's about not taking it personally and that they are doing their best to offer what they can and that if that's just a phone call then it's great that they have thought about you enough to pick up the phone. I don't always feel that I have enough focus or energy to bother with on-line chats but having read messages, sometimes it can be uplifting.

Hi again Babafudge, I have been on my cancer journey for over 22 years now.

My type of blood cancer (a rare skin Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma) is incurable but treatable. For many living with a blood cancer it’s a life time of developing the ability to ‘live’ with our cancer not to be defined by it.

My family have been great and although my brother and I have never been close purely due to the age and distance gaps, back in 2014 he stepped up to the mark and became my Stem Cell donor and basically saved my life.

Family and friends will react to a cancer diagnosis very differently, some will be supper supportive, others will look as though they are not interested (and some may well be) but mostly they just don’t know what to say or do so focus on other things or people……. at the start of my journey we had a number of very open and very clear family and friends discussions and this was a good steppingstone for going through years of some very challenging treatments (see my profile if you dare)

I am a great believer in putting stuff on the table and let others deal with it as they think, if it means they don’t or can’t run with it it’s their problem not mine.

Peer to peer support is one of the best ways of getting though a cancer journey, as talking with people who have the ‘T’ shirt is so simple……. and as it’s available in the palm of your hand at times 25/7 it can be dipped into as and when you want with no real expectations of ‘having to get involved’.

The more you dip into the discussion threads the more you are going to see yourself in a new post from someone standing looking down the treatment tunnel for the very first time……. you could be the one that can bring a measure of light and life into their lives….. that why I stick around and volunteer on the community even although I am now over 5 years out from my last official treatments.

Warm ((hugs)) from a rather beautiful day up in Inverness x

I know how you feel.  My diagnosis is the same.  Last year my Mom had skin cancer and I was there for her - taking her to all of her appointments and radiotherapy treatments.  She was so lucky diagnosis to complete treatment in 2 months - now cancer free. For the next few months I was the one dressing the wound every day.    She did have pain that has faded over time but since my diagnosis she is complaining about severe pain.  I feel as if she sees it as a competition.  Even told a family member that what she has (pain) is worse than my "problem" as she calls it.   To tell the truth I feel heartbroken.  I lost my husband to myeloma and feel so alone, if you can't rely on your Mom for support who can you turn to?

Depends on what your relationship was with your mum was like before you both got sick? But I guess it is about 3 options..accept it, if you can't do it, change it, if you can't do that , then let it go .I found through another relative that my sister treats them the same as me so Its nothing personal, she can't help it so don't take it personally. Focus on those that do love you and care for you and help you. And often that's a friend and not a relative. Big hugs x

Our relationship  was always good.  I have always been there for her and I had had serious health issues all through my life and she was there.   Not sure what is going on now but as you say I can't change it so will just focus on myself.  Thanks.