It’s been a few days since I’ve cried and then it hits me like a train at high speed. That overwhelming sobbing feeling which is hard to stop.
My mum is terminal. She has bone cancer, as well as tumours in her lung, stomach, liver and pancreas. In January we were told she had 8-12 weeks, but here we are at 16 and she’s still here.
I’m sad for so many reasons. Yesterday I had to take my son to hospital with an asthma attack. He’s fine and we were able to leave the same day thankfully, but this made me sad. Ordinarily my mum would have been my first phone call and she was last time this happened 6 months ago. In fact, 6 months ago was pretty much when we found out that this disease was back with a vengeance.
But yesterday I had to call someone else and at first I felt quite proud almost that I’d coped without her and that maybe it would be ok after all. But this evening I’ve been with her and it just draws my attention to the gaping hole that I feel she’s going to leave.
There is so much more that I could say, but it also feels that if I start to go down that path then I will get lost along the way.
Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A terminal cancer diagnosis in the family can be challenging in so many ways but talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer support journey will help you navigate this difficult time.
The Community is organised into specific support groups and when it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer groups as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service can give lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
((hugs))
Hi, my messages are similar, as I am reaching out to people who are distressed, like me. I understand how you feel, in my case, it’s my son.
If you need to talk I’m here. It’s always good to be there for one another. Try keeping calm, starting from avoiding focusing on the things that are going wrong, with the few that are still right. For love 
