Hello all, my dad's just been diagnosed with stomach cancer and we had our meeting yesterday. The cancer is in his stomach lining and in the lymph nodes under his stomach but has not spread. I felt really positive yesterday as we got a bit of a plan, but this morning I woke up upset and it suddenly dawned on me that the cancer is inoperable. Does this mean his chemotherapy is classed as palliative?
Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
I was diagnosed way back in 1999 with an incurable but treatable type of blood cancer so don’t jump to conclusions. Some type of cancer can indeed be inoperable but can be controlled by various treatments like Chemotherapy..... I have had over 750hrs of the clever bleach 
but the palliative question needs to be put to his team I think.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be challenging in so many ways but talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer treatment journey will help you navigate this difficult time.
The Community is organised into cancer specific support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Stomach cancer and Lymph nodes, secondary cancer group as this will be a good place to connect with patients and families navigating the same type of cancer treatment journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Family and friends, Carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer group groups as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section.
((hugs))
Hi Sunnydayz 
Im not a doctor and I get very lost in medical terms and words....Im dealing with my dads cancer too....and at one stage was considering taking a dictionary to the consultant with me just so I could understand what he was saying without freaking out or looking really stupid lol.
I will share a little of my experience with you though....my dad is 92....and we have been told that his cancer is inoperable and no chemo...due to his age and his bodys inability to cope with that stress and recovery....and the doctor said the word "palliative" to me....
Oh dear. When I got home I freaked out lol. Until I spoke to a friend who is a nurse...and she explained that for dad...palliative meant managing the symptoms..the pain...etc and keeping him comfortable. It was February 2020 that the consultant said that word...and whilst dad has his struggles...he is still here :) Still fighting :) and still as mad as ever :)
And a note about chemotherapy.....my niece who is in her mid 20s was diagnosed in November 2020 with blood cancer. She underwent chemotherapy...that finished about 6 weeks ago and the consultants say that they are now 99% sure that they got it all...and that she will be given the all clear after her next scan in a week or so.
So I guess what Im saying is.....since dads diagnosis we have had major ups and downs....getting the news about Hollie my niece was a real big down.....but that old adage about taking one day at a time is really true.
I dont know how old your dad is or what stage the cancer is at etc....but personally I try to stay focused on today. I spend as much time as I can with mum and dad....I felt really angry initially that cancer would take my dad from me....but then I decided that even if that happens...I will not let it take the time that we still have from me too.
I really really hope that you are all ok...sending you lots of love...sorry for babbling ;)
Much love
Lizzi
x
