Hello Everyone
The father of my children has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, it was completely out of the blue and such a shock as he is only 35. He and I have not been together for nearly 10 years but share two daughters age 12 and 9 (almost 10) He has married since and also has two other children aged 8 and 6 who live with him and his wife, unfortunately they live nearly 400 miles away from us so my daughters do not get to see him very often.
We are all struggling at the moment to process the news and I have real concerns about my daughters and how they will cope with this going forward, my 12 year old is already finding it difficult and is crying herself to sleep at night and having emotional outbursts and I feel totally helpless because I don't know what to do to help her. My younger daughter seems to have gone the other way and totally shut down, won't talk about it and shuts herself away in her bedroom. Neither of them have a very good bond with their father, he has definitely let them down over the years and moving away from them and restricting their time together hasn't made it easy for him to stay in their life. There are a lot of complicated feelings for them, myself included, that I have had to put aside so I can support him and my daughters through this and make sure they make the most of whatever time they have left.
There just seems to be so much to think about and prepare for and its a little overwhelming.
Thank you for listening.
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm sorry to read that your children's father has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and I know what a shock this will have been for you all.
The online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the family and friends group which is a safe and supportive place to discuss your worries and emotions.
To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You say that your children are having difficulty with their father's diagnosis and that's not surprising really but you might like to have a look at this information from Macmillan on understanding childrens' reactions and also this on talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
