Hi I’m new to the forum, but sadly not to cancer. I had breast cancer 2+ years ago and had to tell our son my diagnosis, he was obviously upset, but dealt with it well. His father has been having treatment for a stage 3 Malignant Melanoma since last June, and has been receiving adjuvant Pembrolizumab. He’s clearly aware of this, but not the potential ramifications. My husband’s latest CT scan showed a new suspicious lesion that wasn’t there 3 months ago, when your Oncologist is worried, then you know it’s not good news. So hubby’s waiting to have a PET scan. This is a a huge blow, and we’ve barely got our heads around it. As you all know it’s the endless waiting for scans and results that is messing with our heads at the moment. How do I tell our son that we think his father’s cancer has progressed? He’s in his 20’s and already had to cope with both of us having cancer. I want to be honest with him, not exclude him, and let him know of current developments, without minimising the potential issues, but I don’t want to frighten him more than necessary. We’re going to tell him this weekend, so any advice is greatly appreciated.
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community
I'm sorry to read that you think your husband's melanoma might have progressed. I had a melanoma diagnosis 4 years ago so I know what a worrying time this will be for you.
The online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the melanoma group, which is a great place to ask questions and share experiences with others who are being treated for Stage 3 melanoma and also the family and friends group where you can share your feelings and get support.
To join these groups just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You could post your question about the best way to tell your adult son in either or both of these groups. You might also find this information from Macmillan on talking to children and teenagers useful. Although it's aimed at younger children it still has some useful hints and tips along with this article on how to tell people you have cancer.
It would be great if you could pop something about your husband's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
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"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
