How do I approach telling my children that I have cancer, they are all grown up adults so they would be ok to talk to
one of them suffers with depression so my approach needs to be more sensitive
what is my best way of talking to them
Hi Young joe and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us.
I have been on my cancer journey for over 21 years so have forgotten how and when I told my grow up girls but we have been open and clear about my blood cancer and the girls took all the years of treatment and difficulties in their stride but we have these info pages about Talking to Family & Friends about Cancer
A cancer diagnosis in the family brings many questions, much confusion and lots of stress but talking with others who are walking the same type of journey will help you navigate this challenging time.
The Community is organised into dedicated support groups and I see you have joined our supportive Prostate cancer group, this would be a good place to connect with patients and families navigating the same type of cancer journey and as each ‘type’ of cancer followed different treatment oaths good to talk with those who have walked the walk.
To go to the group just click on the link above then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section.
All the very best
HI Young Joe
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis.
My husband I faced the same heart wrenching situation late last August when he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. Our kids at the time were 20 and 22. My daughter suffers from depression and anxiety although this is under control for now.
At first he didn't want to tell them but I felt honesty was the best policy. He told them separately. He spoke to my son first then later that day all three of us drove to my daughter's house (she'd only left home 10 weeks beforehand) and he told her. At that stage all we knew was that he had a tumour.
As hard and emotional as it was for all of us, it brought us together as a family unit. The kids were with us when we met the neurosurgeon who confirmed the terminal diagnosis less than 3 weeks later.
My brother in law was stressing the last time I spoke to him about how to tell his kids the news about their uncle. Personally at that point if I'm being brutally honest I didn't care how he told them. We're not close and only see them about once a year but I'll pass on the advice I gave him,
You know them best. You are best placed to gauge how they'll react. Tell them in language you feel comfortable with and use words they'll understand.
it won't be easy but they'll surprise you. My two have certainly surprised me and I am so proud of how they're coping.
Stay strong.
Big hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
