Struggling to be me!

Hi Jansis, sorry to hear you’re suffering. I think other people’s reactions are much harder to deal with than your own feelings. I have found that I have 2 attitudes, one for family and friends and one for acquaintances; basically, it’s “I have cancer, but it’s being treated”. Then it’s either “it’s not a death sentence, I’ve come to terms with it, so please don’t go all gooey and emotional on me” or “I’m exactly the same person that I was last time we met, so sort yourself out!” Must be horrible seeing poorly patients in your unit, so try and talk to others in the forums who are further along the treatment path than you are, and hear all the positive results. As a CNS, you will bring so much comfort to your patients, because they know that you understand. In return, study them to see how they cope, and use any positive tips! When your daughter realises that you are still Mum, not an invalid, Zoom meetings will get better - you both need a big, big hug really. My daughter and I send each other silly little presents (through Amazon usually), and that helps. I’m wittering on, but just remember that cancer is a horribly emotive word - if you had a broken leg, people would be SO different to you xxx

Thanks Ivvie, that makes sense and is helpful.

I probably have got so tied up in others feelings that ive not had time foŕ mine.

Hopefully we will be able to meet (outside) with family soon and get those hugs! Scotland is being more cautious...

I think it ll be easier when i have a definite plan ( nxt Thurs) ,

Thank you, J xx

Hi Jancis and welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you needed to find us and especially sorry to hear about your Myeloma and Breast cancer diagnosis. Although I don't have the same cancer as you I know any cancer diagnoses brings many questions, confusion and lots of stress but talking with other people who are walking the same type of journey will help you navigate this rollercoaster. The fact you work in Oncology as a CNS can’t make it any easier for you but now you'll find how much we admire and rely on our CNS's. They'll be there for you too.

It might be a good idea to join the Myeloma forum and also the Breast cancer forum where you will find others making the same journey. Just click on the links and introduce yourself by putting up a new thread or reply to any threads listed.

When you have a minute, it would be helpful if you could pop something about your  journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. (It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself.) To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can update it at any time.

It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.

To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section. 

Sending you welcoming hugs, B xx