Hi, I’ve never written on a forum wall before but today I have to ask a question to everyone out there who may be in my position.
My husband finished treatment for Stage 4 Oropharyngeal cancer two weeks ago, his cancer is inoperable and he’s had a very aggressive radiotherapy for 6 weeks plus chemotherapy once a week for six weeks. He has a PEG and takes all nourishment, fluids and drugs via this tube.
Since he finished hi treatment, he has been very fatigued, which I expected, to the point where he is still spending every day, and night, sleeping on the sofa. He won’t go to bed, have a shower, try to take small sips of water or do any of the exercise to help his voice return.
I have asked if he’s depressed he says not and he doesn’t seem to be, he just seems to not want to get well. I know this sounds ridiculous but this is how it feels and how his actions make it feel.
I am currently doing everything to ensure that he maintains a healthy weight and is properly hydrated. I’m at a loss to know how to get him to do one small thing for himself. Ive tried tough love but, unfortunately, he becomes quite aggressive and things are worse.
Would really appreciate hearing similar stories and how things were resolved.
Thanks so much for listening
Hi and a warm welcome to the online community
It sounds like you and your husband have gone through a great deal over the last couple of months and I hope that talking to others here you'll find a way forward.
The online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the carers only group which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. If you want to connect with others who have the same type of cancer as your husband then the head and neck cancer group is a great place in which you can ask questions, share experiences and get support.
To join either or both of these groups just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute, it would be really useful if you could pop something about your husband's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
