This is my first post on here my Mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer nearly a year ago now . After nearly a year of chemo , operation’s that when wrong now I’m looking after her at home as nothing more can be done . My poor Mum who had lost 7 family members already to cancer . Her baby sister just after Christmas who she was with when she died now my Mum is going through the same . It’s so hard things have changed so quickly. I’m starting week 3 now of caring for my Mum full time at home I want her to be here she wants to be here but I’m unsure of what to expect. I’m scared of what’s coming next . I’m trying to keep my Mum comfortable to tell her how much she means to all of us . To make this time happy and keep her smiling. There are so many thoughts going through my head I was given no idea of time , I know there must be signs but as things have changed so quickly already it makes me worry every time I leave the house . So I only leave when I really have to for food or medicine. My youngest is home learning and is 14 I worry how this will effect her. I’m worrying about being off work I feel guilt for worrying about work and yet I know even if I was there I wouldn’t be any use as my mind would be at home with my Mum. I know once I lose my Mum my life will never be the same again . She really is the most amazing Mum & Nan to my children. She has lived with us all for 15 years and has been such a big part of my children’s life she is going to leave such a huge gap in all our life’s.
Living through this at any time is just terrible but going through it through covid is just so much worse I feel for everyone. My Mum keeps talking about all the wasted time this last year not being able to go out bc of shielding. Isolated for two weeks before an operation that did not work an operation that went wrong and made her need another operation. Three weeks in hospital getting over operation’s . Missed time with family & friends not seeing loved ones for fear of catching covid . My son who is 21 had to move out during first wave as he had just started as a ambulance driver and my Mum was having chemo. He is back now but has to keep a distance from my mum as the last thing my Mum needs is covid . She dose not want to waste any more time in hospital she wants to be here with us . We want her here with us . I just want to make this time as peaceful as I can for my Mum and pain free. I hope I can .
I’m not sure why I have chosen today to post on here thanks for reading if you got this far .
Hi Emwaromida and welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you needed to find us and especially sorry to hear about your mum.
This is a hard time for a family to deal with and yes, these COVID times have made everything very difficult to navigate but you have found a safe and supportive place.
I lost my 92 year old mum (not to cancer) suddenly back in November, we live 2 hrs drive away and we drove down to the hospital but once we arrived and had discussions with the clinical team it was decided that I could not go into the hospital to be with her as I am in the Extremely Clinically COVID Vulnerable Group..... a very had decision at the time but the best one for my wider family.
You will benefit from talking with other people who are walking the same type of support journey as this will help you navigate this rollercoaster.
The Community is organised into dedicated support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer groups these will be a good places to connect with others navigating supporting a family member on the same type of cancer journey.
To join a groups just click on the links above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
((hugs))
