Worried guilty scared tired

Not had a good few days . My darling partner went for a pet scan . But the journey there and getting on off the ambulance caused him so much pain he could do it . The ambulance was so bumpy every bump he felt made him groan in pain despite pain relief and top ups has been in pain since.  On top of that morphine making him so constipated despite numerous sachets of laxative and senna cot tablets . So following carers advice phoning doctors first thing . So he did nt have scan says he can’t go now because pain so bad ( pain patches have been suggested to discuss w doctor tomorrow) but he still needs scan as I feel something going on around the middle lower back area . He says pain probably down to constipation again . But I think it could be more . Also need to go for zoladex I just ion to fuse bones which it done at hospital. The past three days basically just laid there and slept . Just waking enough for meds / food/ drink and to sit on commode which takes a lot for both of us now . I now have to help him sit up swing his legs round of bed then d was its lot of effort he slides to commode in the hope something will happen but due to pain in hips and back he cannot sit for too long . So if it happens he needs to be quick of bed and on to commode it won’t happen he can’t be quick . Touch wood not hdppened yet . Though he was a little better today . Hoping if n when he poops he will feel/ be better . I worry though that things won’t get better with all things in general and is this the start of . . . the end can’t bare it to think of it . Just awful seeing him like this . So sad broken I feel weak