Hi my Dad has stage 4 breast cancer and is elderly and really struggling he very much is up and down after a fall in the autumn and subsequently catching Covid which he’s recovered from and wasn’t that poorly at the time. He does have support from McMillan and Isabel Hospice. But I’m finding my Mum who is his main carer is struggling not that she would ever admit it and is so matter of fact with my Dad that he feels she doesn’t care about him! I know she does I know she’s tired but I feel she’s just bottling everything up! She’s trying to deal with all the medication he’s on and sometimes she seems to change things because she thinks it’s a good idea or she feels he’s not reacting well to so much medication but with no medical knowledge? Which I feel is why he’s so up and down. I’m finding it hard to support them with Covid rules etc and she has her own health problems I’ve tried to suggest asking for help but she kind of nods in the right places and then doesn’t seem to actually ask anyone and I don’t want to railroad her any suggestions on how to support them would be amazing
Hi and welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you needed to find us and especially sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis and other issues.
A cancer diagnosis brings many questions, confusion and lots of stress but talking with other people who are walking the same type of journey will help you navigate this rollercoaster.
The Community is organised into dedicated support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Breast cancers group, this will be a good place to connect with others navigating the support of a family member on the same type of cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
Talking with others caring for family and friends will help a lot so do check out our Family and friends and Carers only groups as you will connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section.
((hugs))
