Had a real bad day . Few days . Past week . Feeling it when my darling beloved partner who has secondary cancer in his hips snaps at me some , the way he speaks to me or what he says to me . I cry I ve cried . He says he s sorry and I know he can’t help it I know he s in pain though I can’t begin to even imagine his pain and mine is just emotional . But I wish maybe he think before he says anything . I m scared so so scared of a lot of things but thinking that one day I ll regret feeling like this and then it will be too late is the main thing right this moment . If it was me in his place knowing what we know I would be making sure thing were in order for if/when the worse would happen . I m so so worried and scared that if when the worse happens I won’t know what to do . We have no funeral plans either of us we have no savings . It’s like if he talks about that sort of stuff he s admitting the end and he wants to fight to the end we both do but surely we need to also be realistic in as much that it will happen . I know if it were me I would want things in place to make it easier for all my loved ones . I don’t get it . Feeling confused hurt resentful but love him with all my heart and I know I will be devastated and broken if/when the worse happens but this burden of worry is making it harder
Hi
I'm sorry to hear how much you're struggling at the moment and it does sound like a very difficult time that you're going through.
I can see that you've joined and posted in the carers group before now and I'm sure if you copy and paste your post from here into a new post there you'll get lots of support from other carers who will understand what you're going through right now. If you'd like to do this then clicking on the link I've created is a quick way back to the group.
Sending a virtual ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
