Not where I thought I would be turning in 2021 but I'm struggling. My boyfriend has been diagnosed with terminal cancer he has it in his chest wall and spine. He had an operation in October on his spine and he end up parallysed from a old skiing injury, this operation didn't work and he had another one in November as the metal work he had put in during previous operation was crushing his spine.
He has pervious had cancer before when he was younger before we got together. This is was cause the skiing accident. He is 24 years old and we are in along distance relationships even more so with covid not be able to see each other. The operation he had in November worked he gained sensation in his legs again and can walk but about a week after being home he blacked out and got rushed to hospital it was discovered he had blood clots. He then came home and 1 day later he blacked out again and got rushed into hospital and was discovered he had a PE.
He end up on a ventilator during Christmas and new year I had a fantastic nurse who was keeping me informed via text on his phone. Once he started getting better he was sent to a rehabilitation centre. After the was discharge from he was home for 2 days before we end back up in hospital.
I'm struggling to cope with all of this and not being able to be with him or see him with covid. I suffer with depression and that changed when I got with my boyfriend he made everything better mad I've been in a better place and I'm starting to struggle and I don't want go to that dark place again and suffer with my depression again.
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that your boyfriend has been told that his cancer is terminal and I can understand what a difficult time this must be for you both.
Knowing that someone you love is incurable can be very hard and you might like to take a look at this information from Macmillan on your feelings when someone has cancer and especially this section on looking after yourself. If you're starting to struggle then it would be a good idea to have a chat with your GP.
As the community is divided up into different support groups I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group, which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries as well as talk about practical issues.
To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you posted here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. To save typing this all out again you could simply copy and paste it into a new post.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
Sending a gentle ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
