Hi
This is my first time on here. But to tell you the truth I'm not coping well at all. Mum was diagnosed with base of lung ca and brain mets in mid may. From the date of diagnosis to death was 12 weeks. 12 short weeks we had with her, watching her deteriorate so rapidly and then caring for her. Macmillan were amazing, the only thing they couldn't do was stop our hearts breaking. Mum was only 59. Her 60th is coming up on 9th Feb and words cannot tell you how angry, sad, heartbroken, bitter, cheated in feeling.
I know its only been 5 months, but some days i cannot stop crying and it feels like my heart has been ripped out. I'm 35 but I feel orphaned. I see people enjoying their Christmases with their families and i feel jealous.
Please tell me this gets easier. Work referred me onto a counselling service as there are days that i cannot get out of bed, but i was abruptly told there was nothing that can be done until mum has been dead 7 months. She actually said (a trained grief counsellor) i suggest if you still feel like this at month 7 or 8 then give us a call back, but there is a waiting list.
My heart is broken, and i dont think it will ever be complete again
Thank you for listening to me moan on, Helen x
Hi Helen1985 and a second warm welcome to the Online Community.
I am so sorry to hear about your dear mum. I also lost my mum back in November (not cancer) and can understand the emotions you are having to deal with.
My mum was 92 but her death was very unexpected, we all thought that she would out live us as she was from that amazing resilient generation.
Due to COVID and the fact that I am classed as COVID Extremely Vulnerable I was not allowed into the hospital to be with her when she passed. That was hard but I know it was for the best for all my family.
Yes we will miss her so much but she will never be forgotten. In fact our various small family Christmas gatherings around the country all decided to make the day a celebration of her life.
She used to make all our Christmas Puddings and send them to the family around the country. So we I have never made or bought a Christmas Pudding in all our 52 years marriage.
We all agreed to “have a go” at her recipe and did a Zoom Bake Off judging the n the afternoon on Christmas Day..... I can’t say any one won but she would have appreciated that we got on with living.
I see you have joined our very supportive Bereaved family and friends group, this is a good place where you will connect with others walking the same journey as you.
Follow the above link then introduce yourself, post questions or just join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'. You could just copy and paste the text from this first post.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support or just a listing ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best ((hugs))
