My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer in January 2019 and had the treatment, radiotherapy and hormone therapy and at his first six month review the results were fantastic and they thought he
as cured. Eight months later he had another review (two months late due to Covid ) and his result was not good. But we were told it could be a false reading and to wait four weeks before having anotr blood test. Fast forward to now and after various tests, scans and biopsies we have now been told that his cancer has spread to his liver, lungs, lymph glands and bones and they have said he coulhave 12-18 months. But he’s already in so much pain. How on earth can I stand by and watch the love of my life (who is only 59) deteriorate like this. I’m heartbroken and feeling useless because all want to do is stop him hurting. We only had the final diagnosis a week ago and already hes getting worse. I just don’t know how I am going to get through this and then that thought makes me feel li so selfish because this is about him not me. I have no idea how all those emojis got in there either. Hope you can still understand it as I can’t get rid of them
Hi Jillybean74 and a warm welcome to the Online Community, a Community that no one really looks to see themselves joining, and so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.
First don’t worry about the random emojis, like cancer the site throws up unwanted stuff. This is a hard time for you and the family. A cancer diagnosis like this brings confusion, stress and many questions but talking with other people who are on the same type of journey will help a lot.
The Community is organised into support groups, I see you have joined our very supportive Carers only group abd you may find our Supporting someone with incurable cancer goup helpful as you will connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
Follow the above links then choose ‘click to join' or ‘join’ when the page opens. You can then introduce yourself, post questions or just join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'. You could just copy and paste the text from this first post.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listing ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best.
HI Jillybean74
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I'm in a similar but different situation with my own husband. He's 51 and has a grade 4 glioblastoma (brain tumour) and was given 12-15 months in Sept 2020. Heartbroken doesn't begin to cover it. I know that useless felling all to well and the tears and fears. They are apparently all perfectly normal reactions. It's ok to be upset. I've drawn a lot of support from the Carers Only forum on here. Sadly there are quite a few of us in the same situation.
Hang in there. Stay strong and take this one day at a time.
big hugs
Wee me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Hi Jillybean,
You have already had some great replies and guidance, but I wanted to say Hi and Welcome, although it can be hard to be here the sharing is for some, therapeutic. A little release where others "get it" no holds barred!
My husband also has a terminal diagnosis, so I hear you clearly when you say
I just don’t know how I am going to get through
I am really sorry to read your husbands diagnosis and prognosis, and also to read that since the final diagnosis a week ago he is already getting worse.
It is normal, to consider you during this, and although we sometimes think it selfish, it is in fact just the way our minds start to prepare us, for that which we will never truly be prepared for.
My husband currently has been fighting his condition well and there is some positivity to be felt in the way he is reacting, but he was given a 12 month prognosis in May and it often the thing that is tapping at the forefront of my mind as much as I try to push it back.
We are here for you.... there is generally someone around most of the time, (within a few hours if not immediately) I hope you find some support from the forums... and remember, it is okay to think about you too!
Lowe'
