Hi,
the past few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions and I have tried to see the positives; they found a tumour in my rectum, took it out and put a loop stoma in to allow the rejoined bowel and rectum to heal. So I am lucky to get picked up and I have a good doctor.
However the reality of the situation has just started to sink in. I am mobile but tender, I need anti sickness or I’m throwing up. I hate the stoma and am struggling to eat properly. I am also a coeliac and fairly diary intolerant which isn’t helping in hospital. And now because I’m young and fit - I’m 55, they are probably going to recommend mop up chemotherapy. I don’t want to be ill, which I know is crazy talk but the thought of continuing like this is freaking me out.
My family are so supportive but they are not here . I know I can go home soon but now my bladder is sluggish and so may have an infection.
yesterday I was upbeat and this morning I am angry. I know this will pass. I am just struggling today.
Hi Curlywurley and a warm welcome to the Online Community, a Community that no one really looks to see themselves joining, and so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.
Having been on my cancer journey for over 21 years I can totally understand the spectrum of emotions you will be dealing with but this will improve.
Yes the thought of being more ill due to treatment is a challenge, over my many treatments for my rare blood cancer I have had well over 800hrs of chemo and on the whole it was all ok and as I will always say, it was better than the alternative.
A cancer diagnosis brings confusion, stress and many questions but I found talking with other people who are on the same type of journey helped a lot.
The Community is organised into support groups so you may want to start by joining our supportive Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer group as this is the place where you will connect with others walking the treatment journey both as patient or family.
Follow the above link then choose ‘click to join' or ‘join’ when the page opens. You can then introduce yourself, post questions or just join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listing ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers.
All the very best.
