Hi,
In October my mum (56) was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer which had metastasised to her liver. The tumor in her bowel is enormous and the tumors in her liver are all over it so cannot be operated on. I'm 25 years old and I live with my mum. I'm an only child and she is my best friend. She was originally offered chemotherapy and was given a prognosis of 2-3 years with chemo, 6 months without.
Last week she was admitted to hospital and was told she had 2 weeks left to live unless she had an operation for a stoma as the tumor was creating a blockage in her bowel. She was ready to give up and didn't want the operation but she thankfully decided to have the operation for me as she knew I really wanted her to have it. The worst part is, the operation has only given her 6 months max and as she only had it 4 days ago, she cannot have anymore chemotherapy for 6 weeks. She also has really bad reactions to chemo and the doctors have had to reduce it to 60% most times which obviously isn't as effective.
My boyfriend moved in with us before the lockdown to help me care for her which has been a massive help but I'm honestly really struggling with coming to terms with all of this. I don't know who to talk to as I feel no-one understands my pain. I've had counselling sessions but it hasn't really helped and I'm so concerned that I don't have any coping strategies for now or the future if the inevitable happens.
This is my first time searching the macmillan website so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community, a Community that no one really looks to see themselves joining, and so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis, this is such a hard time you to deal with.
A cancer diagnosis like this brings confusion, stress and many questions but I found talking with other people who are on the same type of journey helped a lot.
The Community is organised into support groups and I see you have already joined a number.
I think you would benefit from talking with others caring for family so do checkout our Carers only, Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer Groups as you will connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
Follow the above links then introduce yourself, post questions or just join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listing ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best.
