Hi there
My Mum is 74 & was diagnosed with rectal cancer stage 3b in the summer. Since then she has undergone intense radiotherapy and 4 cycles of chemo to shrink the tumour to a safe operable size. I have been through all kinds of emotions but as I am a practical person I tend to go into practical mode and look at the facts and dissect them so I know what is going on.
Last August she had a colostomy fitted which was a huge thing for her to have to deal with. The Chemo has made her ill at times and she tries to be so positive. She has a counsellor and a macmillan nurse who I understand I can also talk to if needs be.
In December she had an appt with the consultant colorectal surgeon. It was a tough appt for her as they discussed the potential operation and what it will involve. She was quite panicked afterwards and it was very hard to have to hear what he had said. I haven't been able to see her for a year now due to COVID19 as she lives 1.5hrs away from me. We talk over videocall and the phone and that's tough when you just want to hug them. Really tough.
I now have a copy of the letter from the consultant appt - a lot I can't decipher as it's medical terminology but I have used the powers of google to establish a few things. I know that that it's a poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma of the low rectum - stage 3b which I understand means it has grown into other structures nearby the site. I understand this structure to be the pelvic sidewall node. She is due to have robotic perineal excision of the rectum with en bloc resection of sacrum s5 and left pelvic wall lymph node dissection. The risks it lists are so many and so scary to look at but I also appreciate they have to tell you these things.
The date for her op is not scheduled yet as it's pending a further MRI and PET CT scan to ensure no further spread. We are all terrified of the impact of COVID19 and she worries about getting it in hospital as she has practically been isolating since March 2020 due to her age and other health conditions.
Some days I am ok and others I am not. I think I just want someone to tell me it's going to be ok but I know nobody can do that. I decided that talking on here is my best option to see if anyone else can offer support and guidance. Any suggestions anyone has would be great.
Thanks for listening xx
Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community, a Community that no one really looks to see themselves joining, and so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis and ongoing treatment.
COVID has indeed made a challenging time for your mum and family even more challenging.
A cancer diagnosis brings confusion, stress and many questions but I found talking with other people who are on the same type of journey helped a lot.
The Community is organised into support groups and I see you have joined our supportive Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer group, this is the place where you will connect with others walking the treatment journey both as patient or family.
Follow the above link then can introduce yourself, post questions (copy and paste this first post) or just join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'.
Talking with others caring for family and friends will help a lot so do checkout our Carers only and Family and friends Groups as you will connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listing ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers.
All the very best.
