My mum was diagnosed a year ago with stage 4 ovarian cancer and has fought a good fight through 2020. She has been in hospital (The Royal Marsden) for the last 3 weeks and has now been handed over to palliative care and has not got long left.
It's been extremely hard for me as I also work at the Royal Marsden and she has been two floors above me in the ward but I am unable to go and see her. No visitors, no exceptions. I have had to take some time off work because I kept breaking down and felt guilty about being off work because at least my mum knew I was close and in the same building even if I couldn't see her.
She's now coming home to be with my dad next week. Hospital bed and equipment delivered yesterday. And although we are in tier 4 I cannot let her go into the next life without seeing her at home.
I am truly heartbroken as I have watched her this year having treatment throughout the pandemic and she has fought so hard.
I actually don't want to go on without my mum and I don't know what I am going to do when the time comes. Thanks for reading and I hope to find support from here.
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read about your mum and I can understand what a difficult time this must be for all the family, made worse by the pandemic.
I can see that you've joined a few groups here and thought I'd suggest that you might also like to join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group. It is a safe and supportive place to discuss your emotions as well as practical issues about palliative care.
If you'd like to join then just click on the link I've created. Once you've joined you can then start a new post in the same way as you started this one and respond to existing posts by clicking on 'reply'.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
