New to this group. Hi and a hopeful and happy new year

Hi, Just to introduce myself. I won't give out my real name but my friends call me Billy. 

I never ever thought I would be seeking support on a cancer support site plus so much more. 

I had a cycling accident around 4 months ago. I keep myself very fit by cycling, running and weights. It's a way of dealing with my bipolar disorder..

Anyway not wanting to bore it's been a terrible last 15 years after suffering my 1st manic episode. Over this time I have been sectioned 8 times and had a further "voluntary" psych ward admissions. In these years I have been homeless, a heroin and crack addict plus much much more. 2020 I found stability and even had a MOD pension pay out which enabled me to pay off all my debts, completely renovate my flat and buy a decent car. 

Then I had the bike accident. I hurt myself quite badly but on an ultrasound they found a suspect area. In honour to the NHS they arranged a CT scan with contrast. 2 days later I got the news that it was a tumour but they needed to confirm or rule out is it was deadly or not. Another CT scan where they remove part of the tumour happened 3 weeks later and another agonising wait. The waiting is most definately the worse bit. 

Yesterday New Year's Eve my fantastic GP called me. I asked her if I could repeat the famous words from a film I like. She obliged do i said, "Lay it on me Doc lol

1. She told me that the Anomoly was cancerous but there could be some encouraging treatment option as we'd caught it so early. I am under no illusion that this Cancer will be easy to treat or even successfully treated because of its location in my liver. I learnt that liver cancer is tricky to treat but I am realistically hopeful and if there is a chance to fight it I shall do so with great vigour. I will see a consultant in the new year. 

As for the shock of receiving the bad news that I have cancer I was surprised at how I processed it. Sounds dumb but because of my fight to stay stable in mood, knawing enduring anxiety and the suicidle problems I have experienced over the last 15 years in particular, I took it quite well. Unfortunately death has surrounded me over the years. I witnessed 3 of my mates killed in Iraq during the 1st gulf War and the nature of my work in The Forces I regularly flirted with it. 

I guess if it all goes terribly wrong and the treatment doesn't work I still have 3 years of being able to stay fit and healthy and intend to use that time volunteering and doing stuff I've always wanted to do but never got around to it. I am one of the lucky ones who'll be able to neatly wrap up my life and have time to properly say goodbye to my loved ones. 

I have been moved at some of your stories and they have helped. Macmillan is an amazing organisation and thanks for the support it has provided to me right from the start. 

I never dreampt I would end up needing cancer support but here I am. 

Hope you all have a good 2021.