Hi! I’m Yoli
ive been debating for a while if I should join to the group. I was diagnosed with stage 1 of ovarian cancer, It got detected quite fast and I had 2 abdominal surgeries in 6 weeks. My right ovary and tuve got removed and I didn’t have to do chemo. Now I have to do check ups every 4 months. To be honest I didn’t know that this process could have so much emotional repercussions. I only wanted to be free. I found myself struggling with a lot of anxiety at times and I get a bit scared or frustrated because I don’t know how to react, or still just crying randomly but then feeling sad and guilty because I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way because now I’m cancer free, and because I didn’t have to go through such a long and painful process like other cases. But every time I look back it just reminds me of how scared I was, the pain, the vomiting, the not wanting to fight the feeling discouraged. I’m very grateful and I feel like a have a new perspective in life, I feel like a different person, sometimes I like it and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I feel like people understand and sometimes I don’t. I still don’t know how to express everything I feel and goes through my head. Every time I take a shower I cry and sometimes I don’t know if I know why. I don know what else to say. I’m sorry if this is out of place or insensitive.
Lots of love, Yoli
Hi Yoli and welcome to the Macmillan Community.
I am so glad you have successfully got through so far and you are cancer free.
There is nothing insensitive about your post. It simply puts into words what happens to more than a few people in recovery.
This diagnosis of cancer throws us all into a dark place. A place of uncertainty and pain both mental and physical. Once we have fought through the fire what on earth is on the other side?
Have a read of Dr Peter Harvey's paper on After treatment finishes
I think it encapsulates brilliantly what a lot of us feel and why.
There is an Ovarian Cancer Forum you could put a toe into if you feel ready to revisit anything
Good luck and all the best
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
Hi beesuit!
thank you for your reply, I didn’t know if someone would. I’ll try join the ovarian cancer forum, I just feel grateful for this space to express and share. Like I said, I don’t know how to express very well, I think I’m doing very good physically but I’m still not great emotionally.
thanks for the support.
love, Yoli
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
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