Struggling to cope

Hello and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of what you have been through and that the doctors have not been great at dealing with it. I can understand how you are feeling. Could I suggest you join the Skin Cancer Group which covers BCC. You will find members with experience of this and will be able to help and support you. Click the link to get to the group. When you have joined the group, you can then post your concerns there and the group members should be able to advise. I hope all goes well. Best wishes.

Hello Dogs are the best and welcome, I am a newbie to the community.

Sorry to hear about your news.  I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma about 13 years ago (I have joined this forum because my husband now has throat cancer). 

My life was turned upside down when I heard that "C" word as most people do.  But there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am living proof of this.  Every one's treatment and circumstances are different, but at the end of the day the treatment is good and improving all the time, so you will be very well looked after. 

I had issues with my appearance at first as I had quite a crater in my arm and as it was summertime i would not bare my arms and spent most of the time covered up sweating my cans off.  But one day after a colleague made a comment behind ny back and a little boy made a comment in the one occasion I did bare my arm triggered something inside me.  From that day forward I never worried about what my arm looked like because I was still me nothing had changed that.  I am now happy and content with my appearance even though the scars are still there as a reminder I very rarely think about it.

Stay positive (it might not feel like it at the moment) but you will be in safe hands and at least you have taken a step here to reach out and talk.

Best wishes.

Anorak.

Hi Anorak, I think I’ve been in a state of high anxiety since I found the bcc in May and then went through so much ignorance from the GP who said it was a fungal infection from one of our dogs! Then 2 dermatologists both misdiagnosed then an incomplete excision biopsy. My brain has not caught up. The MOHs surgery whilst necessary is over but the aftermath is what I’m now struggling with as I mentioned. You are right about life being turned upside down and now your husband has throat cancer, I’m really sorry to read that. I hope he soon gets the treatment he needs. 

Thank you for responding. 

Hi Dogs are the best, You are bound to be anxious you  are only human at the end of the day.  Luckily in my circumstances I had a very keen young doctor at my GP Surgery who was on the ball so had no time to stop and breathe as I was seen almost immediately by my hospital.  

You have got the worst bit over now with the surgery but as you say it is the aftermath that you struggle with as I did too. I think you are suddenly going through all the motions and then once you have the treatment you think that's it.  The brain will be able to catch up eventually and things do get better.  Do you have a good support network i.e. family and friends?  Talking is the best policy I found and am finding the same now with my husband's diagnosis.

It has not been a good year for me, at the same time my husband was taken ill I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes out of the blue and then two weeks later my husband had his diagnosis.  Then COVID struck and I lost my job of 45 years with no thank you whatsoever so believe me it has been a crap.  So there I am talking to a complete stranger discussing my terrible year but it feels good to get it off my chest.

I hope he does get the treatment he needs and quickly so that next year may start on  a positive note.  I will always remember my McMillan Nurse (yes you got one of those years ago) telling me before I went down to theatre whispering "be positive and you will get through" and yes I did she was right.  I am always here if you need to talk, I don't have all the answers and never will but if I can help I will.

Take care and good luck.

Hi Anorak,

It sounds like your year has been awful, type 1 diabetes is hard to deal with on top of your husband’s diagnosis, it must feel like everyday has a medical appointment! As you have said to me though, things will settle down with the right help. 

My family are profoundly logical, if something is wrong you fix it and move on. They think once you’ve had your surgery, life just goes back to how it was, at least with skin cancer. You know it doesn’t and so do I now! Friends are supportive, st least some are, it has surprised me though that some I never thought would offer help have done and those I thought would, haven’t. You live and learn I guess. 

Ive contacted someone for a consultation Re wigs should I need one. I’m trying to find a way of taking control back. That alongside as regular skin checks (private appointment) as was told by nhs just a wait and see policy is offered. That really can’t be right!

Anyway, thank you for reading more about my current chaos and I’m here now as well should you want to chat. Take care. 

Yep you certainly find out who your friends are in these situations.

Time does help but when you are in this position it can sometimes feel that the tunnel is a long way off. 

Go down the wig route whatever makes you feel good and take that control back. 

The NHS should offer you check ups you should not have to pay surely?

At he end of the day I am living proof of a "survivor" so we are out there.

As I said take care and always happy to chat.

Thank you. Yes unfortunately because I went the private route to get MOHs surgery, all the follow ups are having to be paid for. I underestimated the entirety of the situation from the pain through to the impact the hair loss would have on me. I’m now waiting for a consultation for a wig to wear whilst I wait to see if it will grow back. 

Best wishes to you and your husband, let’s hope next year is much better x