Hi, here for support as my lovely mum who has just turned 75 was diagnosed with aggressive terminal lung cancer 4 days ago and I am totally devastated and frightened. She had lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago and was diagnosed with COPD despite dreading it was lung cancer at the time , although this was only ruled out with a chest x ray. Then this year during lockdown she lost another stone or more and had x ray, blood, urine and stool tests which all came back clear in September and an endoscopy down the throat which they said only showed up a problem with her lining of her oesephagus and she was put on tablets, and also gave her a CT scan but by now we were quite reassured by the other test results. Then she got a call to say the scan showed up some lesion which they believed to be on her breast so she was referred to the breast clinic for a mammogram and scan, and also a PET scan. She was then called and told she needed an EBUS procedure which is like an endoscopy but allows them to take biopsies through the windpipe wall into the lung cavaties I believe. By this time we had waited just under 2 months for a diagnosis and they promised a diagnosis within a week or two as they had all the tests they needed. Well that dreaded day was last Thursday and our whole world was turned upside down. Why did it take so long to find it, apparently the tumour in between her lungs has doubled in two weeks, they believe she has both small cell and non small cell cancer. She has an appointment tomorrow with an oncologist to discuss possible treatment to reduce the tumour to alleviate symptoms by reducing the tumour, lung function test Wednesday and mri on her head Friday to see if it’s spread to her brain. She is being sick quite regularly, been getting worse since her first endoscopy a few weeks ago, she had a whole 12 hours of sickness and diarrhoea yesterday, and struggles to get food down.So many emotions going through my head - anger that it took so long to diagnose and fir all the things she will miss out on such as great-grandchildren, weddings and family occasions, feelings of helplessness because I can’t change it, grateful of the things we have shared, disbelief, sadness that she is too young to die, devestated for my Dad who has been married to her nearly 55 years and worships the ground she walks on, jealous that other people will have their mum for a lot longer than me, angry that my children will lose their Nan, scared that I can’t cope when the time comes to let her go. I do nothing but cry at the moment . Please tell me will I ever feel better and could she have been saved had she got diagnosed two months ago when they started tests? Also she is only 6 stone 6 lb and with her other problems will she be able to have treatment, I’m dreading that tomorrow the oncologist says there is nothing they can do? And lastly, do you think she had it two years ago when she first had her chest x ray and was told she had COPD as it didn’t show up on the chest x ray in September either? Thank you for listening to me rambling. X
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that your mum has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and I do understand what a difficult time this will be both for her and your whole family.
It's perfectly normal to feel as you do at the moment and it might help you to have a look through this information from Macmillan on your feelings when someone has cancer. It includes ways to help you cope and advice on how to get help if you feel that you're not coping.
As the community is divided up into various groups I'm going to suggest a couple for you to think about joining. The first is the lung cancer group where you can ask questions and share experiences with others with the same diagnosis. The second is the family and friends group which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries with others who have a family member with cancer.
To join either or both of these groups just click on the links I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the pages that open. You can then post questions in the same way as you posted this message and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute, it would be really useful if you could pop something about your mum's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
