Hi, my name is Becky, I'm 28.
My Mam was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in February and passed away in June.
Shortly after her diagnosis the country went into lockdown, doing what we were all told to I stayed home while my dad cared for her at their home.
Lockdown restrictions were eased and i went straight to visit her at a distance, she was feeling unwell and was wating for the GP to do a home visit. The GP adviced that she was to be taken to hospital, reluctantly she agreed.
The following day I went to visit my Dad. We received a call from the hospital to go down as Mam had deteriorated, a little while later she had passed.
I can't help but feel so angry that i listened to guidelines and stayed away...those last weeks were the last weeks i should have had with her and now she's gone. Im back at work, which is hard because i also worked with her.
She died 5 months ago but now i'm struggling, im suffering with anxiety, i'm a mother to a very active 7 year old boy and i just don't have the patience. My partner is really supportive but doesn't know how to help me.
I'm not really sure what i'm looking for in replies, maybe just a rant but i thank you for taking the time to read.
Becky x
Hi Becky and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community, a Community that no one really plans to see themselves joining, and so sorry to hear about your mum and your ongoing struggles.
A cancer death in the family brings a lot of confusion, stress and many questions but talking with other people who are on the same type of journey helps a lot.
The Community is organised into support groups so you may find our Bereaved family and friends group a good place where you will connect with others walking the journey.
Follow the above link then choose ‘click to join' or ‘join’ when the page opens.
You can then introduce yourself, post questions or just join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'.
Its always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support or just a listing ear.
The service is open every day 8am to 8pm and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here for more information.
You can also email them, use the online chat and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best.
