Hello there,
I'm new, and very, very frightened.
I seem to have gone from elation about being told my small, early caught left breast HER2 positive cancer was curable as it hadn't spread to any lymph nodes to my world crashing down.
I had a lumpectomy, sentinel biopsy, 18 weeks of Chemo, followed by 2 weeks of radio that finished a month ago. I'm now having Herceptin jabs every 3 weeks and taking Tamoxifen daily.
I was really scared about every ache and pain i then got, and didn't think i could move on with life until i had had requested a CT scan to give me a definitive all clear, my breast care nurse arranged this for me, but that has now come back that a lymph node near my heart has shown up.
My oncologist sent me for a PET-CT scan, which i had on Wednesday, and i have a meeting with him on Monday.
He said it could be nothing, or it could be recurrent cancer.
I am beside myself with worry, thinking, how on earth after all that treatment can it have come back so soon?
What if it has spread elsewhere, what if this is the end, so every ache or headache i get i immediately think is the worst thing possible.
My mind won't let me think positive, i cry all the time whilst just going through daily tasks like a zombie.
I feel so sorry for my husband too, he doesn't know what to do and i'm a mess.
I don't think i helped myself by googling it, and now i'm convinced if it is cancer again than its not treatable. I can't think straight, and can't see forwards.
I have read a few posts on here that have given me hope about treatments for all sorts, and of course, i don't actually yet know if it is recurrent cancer.
Thank you for letting me sound off, what a rollercoaster at the moment, i'm the most scared i've ever been in my life. I'm only 47, why can't i just have my life back and be happy?
Thank you everyone, my eyes are a bit misty, and i'm sorry i'm such a worrier, but i send my heartfelt love and thoughts to all people living with cancer and waiting for results.
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read how worried you are that your breast cancer may have come back. I'm sure everyone who's had cancer will have had the same worries at some time or another.
I can see that you've joined the breast cancer for the under-50s group which is a great place to ask questions, share experiences and get support. You might also like to join the main breast cancer group. If you'd like to do this just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
With both groups you could copy and paste your post from here into new posts there in the same way that you first posted this message in the New to the Community group and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute, it would be really useful if you could pop something about your journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
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"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
