Hi there,
I couldn’t think of a less morose sounding title for this post but it’s the truth, I really am just looking to find people who understand what my family and I are going through.
My mum has been diagnosed with cancer after beating it 10 years ago, and unfortunately it’s returned with a vengeance and has been diagnosed as incurable. I hate the word incurable. We have no idea how long she has to live, but she’s convinced herself that she doesn’t have long at all. This is extremely difficult for me because in my opinion she looks great, you wouldn’t tell the pain she’s in, the medication she’s on, the amount of cancer she has.
At risk of sounding selfish, but I feel completely and utterly lost, this diagnosis was received in March and I feel like my mum has been treated with no urgency or respect since the ‘incurable’ diagnosis. Her oncologist leaves at the end of the month and apparently there will not be a replacement until January. We don’t even know where all of the cancer is because the oncologist just hasn’t been clear. This makes me so angry and upset because this is someone’s life and all I want is for her to be okay.
I can’t talk to my family or friends about it really, my friends know but nobody really asks after her which I get, it’s not a fun line of conversation. But I feel as if I’m regularly grieving something that’s not happened. I’m completely heartbroken and just want to be able to talk to people who understand the difficulties family members of someone with cancer go through too.
I hope everyone is staying safe during these uncertain times x
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, a Community that no one ever really plans to see themselves joining, and so sorry to hear about your mum’s incurable diagnosis.
An incurable cancer diagnosis brings a lot of confusion, stress and many questions and way back on 1999 when I was told I had an incurable type of blood cancer it was all about the ‘what if’s’ but in my case there was no real timeframe.
You may find talking with other people who are on the same type of journey helps a lot so can I direct you to our Supporting someone with incurable cancer group a great benefit as you will connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey.
Follow the above link then choose ‘click to join' or ‘join’ when the page opens.
You can then introduce yourself, post questions or just join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'.
Its always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support or just a listing ear.
The service is open every day 8am to 8pm and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here for more information.
You can also email them, use the online chat and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best.
