Dying from Lung Cancer

FormerMember over 4 years ago

2 replies
34 subscribers
631 views

Hi there

I am sorry to rant and moan but after being strong and getting all the practical stuff done, cards and final messages not wanting to emotional burden my kids and my husband who cannot cope, I am feeling a bit sick, over whelmed totally sorry for myself. I am now lying alone in my Primrose bed(care is lovely nothing they are at fault with), no visitors due to Covid trying to get my head around not making it to my 44th Birthday in 3 weeks due to this aggressive very rare Lung cancer that's invaded every major organ. Hoped to make it to Christmas as its only been 8 months since diagnosis, fought it all the way but there is nothing else they can do. I never smoked and was fairly healthy, loved walking my dogs and gardening why me????? What have I ever done we as a family were just coming to that go on holiday enjoying life time and then wham it's like a sick joke. I feel like my whole life was a joke what was the point of anything, yes 2 lovely kids but there suffering isn't worth my 43 years and watching there mom die my god what is that going to do to them. I haven't seen anything, gone anywhere or experienced anything, couldn't even do a thing on my bucket list because of Covid. I am totally lost cannot even cry just lying down slowly suffercating.

Jenny

MrT1 over 4 years ago

Hi Jenny

No need to feel sorry for the post one little iota. You do whatever it is you need to do and this is a great place to rant, people here will help you as much as they can.

i can’t begin to comprehend the pain you are going through, I’m just full of admiration for all you have done so far. The fight is an exhausting one and you have no doubt had every emotion under the sun in the last 8 months.

the way you are dealing with this will strengthen your children Jenny. They the immense bravery you are showing them , as well as all the other gifts you have given them as their mother, are making them better people.

you are so young it is absolutely dreadful to find yourself in that hospital bed. I’m sure you are already using FaceTime or similar, your children are probably really tech savvy. A very poor second to holding their hands during a visit I know.

Keep focussed on your goals, keep on fighting although it’s been an exhausting fight to this point.

you have my complete admiration and truly hope the guys looking after you can keep you comfortable and ready for when this wretched COVID ends and you can have visitors and start planning your Christmas

every good wish

mark

Cancer may affect my body, but I won’t let it affect my spirit

latchbrook over 4 years ago

Hi Jenny and a very warm welcome to the online community.

I'm very sorry to read about your diagnosis and how you're feeling. Also can I apologise that no one spotted your post earlier so that you could be helped to find a group where you can talk freely with others who will understand what you're going through.

The community is divided up into groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the living with incurable cancer group. The group is specifically for people with an incurable or terminal diagnosis, so whether you need to talk about dying, or about making the most of your life, you can discuss your feelings openly there.

To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. There may be a short wait after your request to join is received but you can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting '+New' or '+' (again depending on the device you're using) and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

Sending a big, virtual (((((hug)))))

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"