It’s Spread.

Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community

I'm very sorry to read that you've recently been diagnosed with oesophageal cancer which has spread to your liver and bones. 

I can remember very clearly how I felt when told I had cancer four years ago and how you and your wife are feeling right now is perfectly normal. Most people will tell you that once you know exactly what the treatment plan is you will feel a lot more settled, although naturally it'll take a while for you to understand all that's happening.

As the community is divided up into groups, I'm going to suggest that you look at joining the oesophageal cancer, secondary liver cancer and secondary bone cancer groups where you can ask questions, share experiences and get support from others who have this type of cancer.

To join all or any of these groups just click on the links I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the pages that open. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting '+New' or '+' (again depending on the device you're using) and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. 

When you have a minute, it would be really useful if you could pop something about your journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

Do come back and let me know how you get on when you see your oncologist this week.

Sending supportive (((hugs))) to both you and your wife.

Hello Waterman

So sorry to read your devastating post but really pleased you have had the bravery to do this. It is a great place for support and advice for you and your wife. It is absolute torture for you both. Crying and hugging are essential for you, just be together as much as you can. Cry, laugh, swear, rant as much as you need to. 
I was new to posting on sites like these. I’m a man, I don’t need to do that sort of thing, I can cope on my own - that was my old philosophy. I have gained great help from many people over the years from sites like these and am a true believer in using them. I found them much more helpful than the visits to counsellors who were lovely people but were not there when I need to rant.

Try to hold on to all those good times you and your wife have had, talk about them and laugh until you cry. Why this damn awful disease chooses us no one can answer. We can’t always control what it is doing to our bodies but we can control our spirit and the way we deal with it. Far easier said than done and you are both suffering from the terrible shock of the whole thing.

keep posting Waterman, people are out there ready to help you both

mark