Hi,
I wanted to get any advice about preparing for my dads end of life care. Dad lives two and half hours away from me. We were both shielding as dad had prostate cancer and I was undergoing chemo. Dad was cleared of cancer in May and I was over the moon. To cut a very , very long story short dad was admitted into hospital and told 13 days ago he has cancer in his liver, lungs, bones and brain. I only managed to get up last Thursday as I recently had breast surgery. The palliative care nurse spoke to dad today and then phoned me. He dismissed the option of a nursing home or hospice . He wants to come home. They have given him weeks to live . He lives alone, but does have a partner. He has very limited mobility ( can not go up/ down stairs ) , can’t cook for himself, there is only an upstairs loo ( managed to get a commode for him), etc
If dad is adamant about coming home is there anyway of getting “ 24 hour care” at home ? I’m trying to think about dads wishes versus risk . Any advice would be grateful received - thank you
Hi I am so sorry to hear about the news of your dads diagnosis and the challenges this is bringing.
A cancer diagnosis like this indeed brings a lot of confusion, stress and many questions but I found talking with other people who are on the same type of journey helped a lot.
My 92 year old mum who does not cancer does live 2 1/2 hours away, with a stair and refuses any help. It is a worry, but as your dad is in hospital the hospital Community Care Team have to work with his GP to ensure he is correctly supported should he go home so I think this is your first points of call. His GP can refer him to the likes of Marie Curie, Macmillan Nurses depending if they are available in his area.
You may find our Carers only, Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups a benefit as you will connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey.
Follow the links I've created above then choose ‘click to join' on the pages that opens.
You can then introduce yourself and post questions selecting '+New' or '+' (depending on the device you're using) and join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk, so can I highlight the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 This service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00
All the very best.
Mike - Thehighlander
It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela
