Hi guys, hope everyone's doing well despite these rather challenging times!
So, not sure really where to start so I'll introduce myself and my situation:
My name's Sarah and I'm 23. My dad was diagnosed with stomach and bowel cancer only 6 weeks ago, which we have come to learn is stage 4 and terminal. He's had some serious complications in this time, the worst being an obstruction in his bowel which led to an emergency operation to remove it and insert a stoma. Whilst operating, the surgeon found that the cancer had aggressively spread and he has frozen pelvis. He's really lucky to have survived the operation and made it out the other side.
He's had further issues with the healing of his wounds from the stoma (we're now 4 weeks post-op) and his wounds still haven't healed. He's deteriorating really quickly, losing a lot of weight, he can't eat much and is sleeping all the time. Based on this, we were told earlier this week that they can't offer him the palliative chemotherapy most people would receive at this stage. We were expecting this, but it still really sucked to hear.
I don't actually live in the UK, I'm currently living in Spain so I've been back home with my family since we found out he had cancer which has definitely helped us. I have an older brother who lives with his partner so it's just myself staying with my mum and dad. I guess my reasoning for wanting to speak with some others who are going through or have been through something similar to help me deal with it and to get some advice.
I can't get over that this has all happened in just 6 weeks and we've been told dad has anywhere from weeks to max 6 months to live. I know these numbers are just numbers but seeing him the way he is, is really difficult as I'm super close with my dad. Seeing him change and deteriorate is breaking my heart. I'm quite a strong person as we almost lost my mum a few years ago (due to another illness, not cancer) so I feel I can cope with situations like this OK - but this is really testing me. I'm exercising every day and trying to eat healthy to look after myself whilst looking after my dad and helping my mum but I'm really worried I'm going to slip into some form of depression as I'm feeling really low and just really sad more often than not each day. I'm trying to stay positive as much as I can but it's proving rather difficult.
If anyone has any questions or advice as to what their coping mechanisms are/have been then it would be really appreciated 
Sarah x
p.s I've inserted a picture of my dad and I, then (2000) and now (2018) 
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Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to hear about your dad and I can understand why you'd want to reach out to others in a similar situation to yourself for support.
The community is split up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the Family and friends group and the Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum group. Both are safe and supportive places to share your worries.
To join both or either of these groups just click on the links I've created and then choose 'click to join' on the pages that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting '+New' or '+' (depending on the device you're using) and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
P.S. Lovely photos!
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that you dad has been diagnosed with incurable bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver.
As you might have read in my reply to Sarah Grace, the community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend a few for you to think about joining. The first are the Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum group,Secondary liver cancer forum and Secondary lung cancer forum where you can ask questions and share experiences with others who have this type of cancer. The other group which I think you might benefit from joining is the Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum group which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries around your dad as well as talk about practical issues.
To join any or all of these groups just click on the links I've created and then choose 'click to join' on the pages that open. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting '+New' or '+' (depending on the device you're using) and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute, it would be really useful if you could pop something about your dad's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
