Tony was diagnosed in 2014 when I made him go to see a doctor I had only been with him 2 years and found blood down the toilet told him to go see a doctor he replied when ive got time,,,,, when my son passes his HGV ill go …… year later when he's son passed his test and he did go it was colon cancer followed by radiotherapy treatment and chemo a colostomy bag and away we went even though with a chemo bottle on and a bag he still went to work at 4am every morning shouting his head off in the yard and continued to do that with the treatment for a good few years, getting married in 2016 making him wear a waistcoat so he couldn't play with the bag when I walked down the aisle - eventually after having a reversal in 2017 and bag free it was only for a three month and then another bag opposite side as he had a blockage and the cancer was growing that it had become terminal and give 2-3 years to live.
when we picked ourselves up from the floor - he said oh ok then lets crack on - now in 2020 just after the three years, given we are at a stage where he has lost a lot of weight and is spending more time in bed - saying no to any more chemo as he said he couldn't take it anymore a proud man driving lorries for a living that his children now run a credit to him and his life, his children had lost their mother to cancer at age of 36 and he brought them up in a lorry going to school etc I met him in 2012 and married in 2016 complete with bag various operations and CT scans MRI pet scans you name it he's had it
the cancer spread to his lungs and liver and now a permanent catheter bag - now what do we do he's losing weight not eating and drinking sometimes water ive asked his doctor for a referral for Macmillan nurses to help me with him as we are all trying to hold down full time jobs as well as trying not to let him down, help him but don't know what to do for the best
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that after living with incurable cancer for many years your husband is now struggling. It must be an incredibly hard time for the whole family.
It's natural to worry that you don't know what to do for the best, but having spoken to your husband's GP, they should arrange for any help and support you might need.
The online community is divided up into groups so I'm going to suggest a couple for you to join. The first is the carers only group which is a safe and supportive place where carers can discuss their worries with others in a similar position. The second is the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can discuss your emotions, as well as practical issues about palliative care.
To join either or both of these groups just click on the links I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the pages that open. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute, it would be really useful if you could pop something about your husband's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
