Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community
I'm sorry to read in your profile that you have been dealing with secondary breast cancer and that you feel that your marriage is suffering as a result of the side effects of the drug which you take.
As the community is divided up into groups, I'm going to recommend that you join the secondary breast cancer group where you can ask questions, share experiences and get support from others who are living with this type of cancer.
To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi 
After taking Tamoxifen for 9 years I wouldn't blame you for stopping a year early (assume you are meant to be on it for 10 years ?) The lack of oestrogen has a lot to answer for :-/
As to how long it would take to resume some sort of 'normal service' is the million dollar question.... So you may be bulk buying your brand of lube for a while yet.
Libido aside, maybe you are missing that closeness as well but don't expect too much too soon - You may have to carry on finding ways to put a smile on his dial for a few months while your body kickstarts some oestrogen production, although this won't be anywhere near as much as was produced previously. Downside is your brain has to be in a happy place to enjoy resuming lovemaking but If you are being pressured into this it may still be an issue. You could try to find that magic spark on your own without the pressure of having sex ? Another route could be seeing your GP and enquiring if something like a testosterone gel would help with your libido (pre menopause the ovaries also produce this hormone)
I'm a fella so I can see the other side of this but wouldn't make it close to the the number 1 issue in a relationship; but then again I'm not diagnosed with clinical depression so I can't connect with that scenario.
Do take up the offer from Latchbrook about joining and posting this to the secondary breast group; I'm sure the ladies there will offer some opinions based on their experiences.
Hope you don't find this reply a bit 'forward' and it's of some help, G n' J
