How best to support my parents

Whereabouts are you based? Dad didn’t once he was in hospital they just kept telling him there’s nothing they can do, he’s too weak and the cancer is too advanced. They basically sent him home on a fastrack as that’s his wishes as if he went into a nursing home or hospice we wouldn’t be able to visit. Keep pushing, our palliative care nurse hasn’t been great she didn’t even want to visit although she is doing now.
lone thing I’ve learnt since this all started in April is you have to keep on at people and really take charge of things. I write down whenever someone rings or comes out, I have a folder full but it helps me as my mind would never remember all the people I’ve spoke to.xx

Hi, we’re in N Ireland.  Thanks for the advice,  If there is no progress tomorrow will have to start pushing. Up til now we’ve been relying on ‘the system’ but as you say there isn’t time for that x

Hi, I’ve been thinking about you this evening. Hope your dad’s medication has been sorted out and he is more settled x

Ahh bless ya that’s kind of you . It was a urine infection they think he’s had a week of antibiotics but told to keep going with them. There’s blood in the commode tonight  how are things at your end x

Hope the antibiotics clear the infection soon.  It’s been a fairly settled week with us.  Thankful for every day that things are as normal as possible but dreading what is to come   I’ve met up with friends this week which has been a great distraction.  Have you been able to get some rest?  

How is your dad ? Have you heard anything from Macmillan or palliative care yet ?
its good that you met up with friends. I messaged you oldest friends asking if anyone of them would go for a socially distanced walk with me but they all turned me down, just what I needed, not ! 
ive had a couple of nights sleep, but tonight we don’t have a sitter so I’m up until about 3.30am and then mum will swap over with me ! I seem to spend most of the week catching up on sleep and falling asleep in the day. And just as I catch up then comes round another day where we don’t have a night sitter and we’re back to square one again. Xx

Aww that’s a pity you couldn’t get company for a walk.   Weather is supposed to stay good so maybe they’ll go next time xx

I like to go out by myself too, just for some fresh air and a little peace and quiet to clear my head.  Mind you, I do feel guilty as mum isn’t able to get out - apart from to the garden. 

The community nurse, Macmillan and GP were all in touch this week.   I’m guessing pre Covid they may have come out to the house but everything is done by phone at the minute.  Got a prescription for a mild laxative which will hopefully relieve some of the pain.  Still eating and sleeping fairly well but def losing weight.   At the minute it seems to be that things will stay as they are but if there is any change then dad has to contact them.    Hard to predict what will happen and when - dad never asked for a timescale and I think I’m glad about that - so it’s all just see how things go day to day. 

I’ve been for a walk with our neighbour whose my mums age, she’s lovely. I did manage to sit in the garden the other day and get a bit of sun. 
i thought the same about the gp etc not visiting until one day we had a particular district nurse out and she asked me if the gp or palliative care nurse had visited. I said no they can’t can they because of covid and she seemed disgusted. She said they are still coming out, and left them both a voicemail. So don’t always take what they tell you for gospel. So your dad is constipated ? My dad is the other way.

when dad was in Doncaster hospital the bowed surgeon rang me on my birthday 20th April I asked how long and he said then that he thought dad on,y had weeks left and not months. That was a month ago now. Xx

That must have been a horrible telephone call, and in your birthday as well.  

I’ll keep that in mind about home visits and push for one when the time is right.

Will keep you all in my prayers. Sending hugs xx

Yeh it was I will never forget it.

do bear in mind about visits as we just took what they said on face value but it’s not until someone different says something that makes you think.

Did you try and look me up on Facebook ? I shouldn’t have shared my details apparently .

hugs to you and your family x