Feeling lost and selfish

FormerMember over 5 years ago

2 replies
28 subscribers
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My mum had a series of seizures in March. Turns out she has a brain tumour. She had surgery on Monday and now we're waiting for the prognosis and treatment plan. Because of COVID I moved home to help look after her and be closer to my family during the pandemic.

With all the covid and cancer stuff i just feel really lost. I don't know how to talk to my parents about all the upcoming treatments and i don't know how to share how scared I am. I'm worried that I will seem really selfish to talk about myself and my non-cancer (and cancer) related worries rather than focusing on my mum and how's she's doing. It feels like there's a huge elephant in the room when we talk.

I think I'm just looking for some advice and reassurance from people who have been through this before

Thanks so much

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hi , I’m sorry to hear about your Mum, I hoping to welcome you to the community and to suggest a group for you to join and paste your discussion in there to find that personal experience and reassurance that your seeking at the moment. Alternative you might find reading what others have put inspires you to click reply to them and talk together. I’ve put a link for you to click on to the friends and family group below.

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/being_a_relative_/discussions

While you are waiting for someone to put their reply together, if you haven’t already read it you might find the section below useful to read on talking to someone with cancer and supporting a family member with cancer.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/supporting-someone/emotional-support-for-family-and-friends

I actually found these pages useful when I as a patient needed to talk to my husband, we were having trouble talking together, both putting on the brave from when I needed to get him to show how he cared and not to see the bottled up carry on as normal him.

I hope you find the links useful.

FormerMember over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi KT,

Thank you so much for responding and pointing me towards the right group and pages. I've had a quick read and I'm amazed at how much useful information and how many friendly people are out there.

Thank you again,

Esther