Hi,
I am new to this group. My mum has terminal cancer, breast and some in her bowels. She is 81 and we are all slowly coming to terms with the fact that we may not have her around for much longer 
My dad is her full time carer, and he is 77, he is no spring chicken, and is struggling to meet her needs. Me and my two sisters have always been on hand to help, but obviously with the lock down we are unable to go in to help.
My dad cannot lift her, she has lost two stone over the last month (she was in hospital for a week) but with the help of steroids has gradually been able to eat, and put some weight on.
She still has days where she is feeling sick, and cannot eat, is this normal? We seem to get her to the point of eating normally but then she had an off day and then we are back to square one.
My dad managed to get hold of the council to ask for some help, but when they came they had no PPE! So he sent them away. We can't really afford for the council to come in anyway, my mum and dad struggle as it is, so he cancelled them.
It was at this point that i had to go in, yesterday (to help my dad get my mum up off the floor) and today to make sure she's had a proper wash, and to try and get her active.. i cannot watch my dad struggle any longer. Ive taken precautions, wore gloves and i mask, washed before and after i have been. I feel uncomfortable about it, because obviously i don't want my mum and dad to catch coronavirus from me, but she's my mum, what else can i do?
Me and my eldest sister had to talk my dad out of calling st lukes to see if they could take her in because he cannot cope, i know he would regret it and we probably wouldn't see her again she wants to stay at home.
We just seem to be constantly feeding her tablets, without any explanations from the doctors about anything, is it normal for her to be feeling sick all the time? Is there any way we can just get some help so that my dad can get a break without it costing money?
At some point i will be back at work and i don't want leamy dad on his own to deal with it all again.
Any advice would be greatly recieved
Thanks Jennifer
Hi Jennifer and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your mum.
A terminal cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions and even more so during these very challenging times.
I have no experience that can help you but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot so can I highlight our very supportive Supporting someone with incurable cancer group a place where benefit as you will connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey.
Posting in this group will open up your concerns to a wider group of people who know exactly what the family are dealing with at the moment.
Follow the link I've created, join the group then introduce yourself to the group and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and you can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You may also find our Carers only and Family and friends groups helpful as well.
((hugs)) all round.
