My Dad was diagnosed with stomach and pancreatic cancer 18mth ago. He had 5 month of chemotherapy and even went into remission. Three months after being told this he started with pains and waited until his appointment at Christie. He was told it had spread and wasn't good news as his bloods were not good enough because his liver wasn't performing and they cant do an operation as its too complex. They did say they would check his bloods in 3 weeks time again but don't see them improving. He is at home now as there is no room in the hospice. I know without treatment he will go downhill, he's been in pain for 3 weeks now and they cant seem to find pain relief that works.
I came on here hoping to talk to someone who can relate to what im going through. Friends are sympathetic but they dont really understand and i feel i need support to support my Dad. Some days i don't want to wake up as the thought of seeing him another day in pain and my poor mum who is trying to care for him as the nurses are not allowed in due to the virus. Only one nurse is allowed in to change his syringe driver. I don't know how to get through the days, how to deal with my tearfulness, i feel like everything is at a standstill but life passes by. I don't know how to support my Dad with him knowing they cant really help him and the uncertainty he faces. He is also tearful and at times snappy which is understandable. I cant see him often, the nurses say only in times of need. Should i try to go back to work and get on with life but i also don't feel strong enough but staying at home i cant see him anyway. Im just so lost with alot of unanswered questions. I would appreciate some advice
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your dad - this is hard times for you all.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot so can I highlight our very supportive Supporting someone with incurable cancer group as you will connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey.
Posting in this group will open up your concerns to a wider group of people who know exactly what you are going through at the moment.
Follow the link I've created, join the group then introduce yourself to the group and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and you can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You may also find our Carers only and Family and friends to be helpful as well.
Can I also highly recommend our various Macmillan Support Line Services - you can call them free on 0808 808 00 00 This service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link and you may also find our Ask an Expert section helpful........ but these services are very busy at the moment.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing...... but these services are limited at the moment due to the virus.
You may want to put some information in your profile as this can help a lot. Click here to see how to add details as this helps everyone to see a little about you and how best to reply to you.
All the very best and war ((hugs)) from a distance.
Thank you for this information and replying so quickly. Forgive me for my ignorance but do i need to copy and paste my original post into the new group so that those questions can be answered?
Yes, that would be the best way so you don't have to type it all again.
You need to 'join' each group then set up your own discussion.
Do also choose how you want to get email notifications when someone send you a reply.
This site is organised into various support groups (little corners) so we do have lots of groups that are Cancer specific and also ones that are general Cancer experience groups.
A quick way of finding all the posts that you have done is hit your Community name and look for 'Resent Activity' and you will find everything listed.
I am always around to help out as best as I can.
