I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October, had a bilateral mastectomy in November, started chemo in December (which is still going). After I finish my 6th chemo, I'll need surgery, 5 weeks of radiation, all the while continuing maintenance chemo treatment for a year for my HER2 breast cancer. During this time, my MIL has emailed me twice. While my friends and my own family text, email, snail mail and call all the time, she's not reached out and the two times she did, she says things like, "It's a good thing you're so strong." My husband's sisters have done much the same thing. No calls, no texts, nothing on days when I am getting treatment. I honestly don't think they even know when I have my treatments, although I keep them informed with emails I send out to friends and family. The irony is that my husband's youngest brother and his wife and son check in all the time with little notes and questions. I'm having a really hard time not getting mad at my MIL and sisters in law. Am I being petty? My support system is, otherwise, very helpful and strong. The other thing to note is that they live in different states. I'm in Massachusetts. They are in Washington State, Washington DC, and Texas. My brother in law, who has been very involved lives in Arkansas. Curious what everyone thinks. As I think beyond my treatment, I think I'm going to have a really hard time forgiving, forgetting, and moving on, but I hate the idea of hurting my husband or even letting these people shed any negativity on my life.
Curious.
Hi Curious and welcome to the Macmillan Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about the family challenges your facing, your diagnosis must have been a big shock to you and all the family.
And a warm welcome all the way from Inverness Scotland.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions on all the family and from talking with other on the community over the years this reaction from this part of the family is actually not that unusual....... very often folks just can't deal with a cancer diagnosis in the family and silence can be a safety net. I had close family and friends who could not talk with me as they could not face it....... but I am still good friends with them regardless.
Talking with people who are on the same treatment journey can help a lot so can I first highlight our very supportive Breast cancer group.
Posting in this group will open up your concerns to a wider group of people who know exactly what you are going through at the moment.
Follow the link I've created, join the group then introduce yourself to the group and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and you can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You may want to put some information in your profile as this can help a lot. Click here to see how to add details as this helps everyone to see a little about you and how best to reply to you.
All the very best ((hugs))
