Within the past 2 months my two remaining family members (mum and brother) have been going through various diagnostic procedures for suspected cancers, breast and bowel respectively.
In 2017 both my maternal grandma (who I adored) and my dad died from cancer. My grandma passed away from a pancoast tumour within 6 months of diagnosis which was quick and unexpected, as she was always the life and soul of the party. My dad lived 3 years with colon cancer - he had local radiotherapy that shrunk the tumour but as he didn't take the colostomy or complete the chemotherapy he later deteriorated rapidly around 6 months after my grandma passed away.
I now find myself back in a similar situation. I feel cursed and am waiting for cancer to find me next (I am 35, my brother is 41). I feel sad, angry and frustrated. I have recently got my career on a really good trajectory and have been planning to buy my first home with my partner. Now life has thrown me this curveball; I have barely caught my breath from previous bereavements..
Throughout all of this my partner and I have also been battling infertility and a failed IVF cycle. We are hoping to start a new cycle soon which will likely be our last attempt for a number of reasons.
I hate to ask for support when my loved ones are in such a stressful situation, but I don't know how much more I can take.. Any kind words gratefully received.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear the journey your family are on......... No Curse.....Its unfortunately the indiscriminate nature of cancer.
We have lots of folks on the Community who are the only one in the family with cancer - like me. Then other other where they have over 50% of their family with cancer at some point in time....... and in the UK half the population will get some type of cancer in their lifetime.
I was diagnosed in 1999 and yes it was all hard work but I am still around and I do my best to not allow cancer to define me.
Cancer in the family can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions on all the family but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot.
The site is organised into various groups so we do have lots of support groups that are Cancer specific and also ones that are general Cancer experience groups.
Click on the links above and have a look round and when you a group you think that fits where you are choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited so you may find our Carers Only, Friends and Family and Bereaved family and friends groups to be good places where you can connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.
I think you do need to talk with someone so can I highly recommend our various Macmillan Support Line Services - you can call them free on 0808 808 00 00 This service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find information covering cancer diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
You may want to put some information in your profile can help a lot Click here to see how to add details as this helps everyone to see a little about you
Always around to help as best as we can ((hugs))
