Mental health & Cancer treatment

Dear

that is a very intensive treatment programme so I’m not surprised he’s feeling the need to shut his emotions down, sometimes it’s the only way you can cope with the situation and it’s often more difficult if your a man and a bit old school about showing your feelings. As he is quite near the end of his treatment plan I would just try to support him in a very gentle way with companionship and kind messages. If after the treatment is finished and there is no improvement in his mood I would consider trying to get him to attend your nearest maggies centre where he will find a warm welcome and will be able to talk through what has happened to him and find strategies to help him move forward. You as a family can also receive help and advice there on all aspects of a cancer diagnosis. As for the fluids problem, little and often is often easier to cope with when you need to increase levels and it also helps to keep a fluids diary to monitor your intake accurately as it’s easy to think you’ve drunk more than you have.

Hello   Kerpug

I really feel for your dad with what he is having to go through it all sounds very intense, on top of still coming to terms with the fact he has Cancer...Depression is I honestly believe a bi-product and side effect of Cancer....wether it be the knowledge you have it.....the concern over beating it...then having to deal with the medical interventions to control/ eradicate it....

So 1st the initial shock....then anxiety and worry, all of which precede varying scales of depression.

I know my mental health tumbled after about 5 months of the disease... because for me the isolation and loneliness crept in. 

Firstly re your dad...may I say the fact you are on here writing with concern for his well being speaks volumes....that you have both empathy and compassion for your dad, will hold him in good stead in the coming months....

YOU...need to convey to your dad you will LISTEN, when he wants to talk, and that could be about anything...his fears, concerns, worries health related life related financially related, work related....it’s an assurance to him that he can  confide in you..

If this is hard for you are dad to do...it’s worth looking into talking groups now.....not sure where you live but a group across the country called Andys Man Club are very helpful....a men’s group set up originally to prevent Male Suicide , but more a men’s talking workshop about anything that’s bothering you...well attend 800 men a week attend over 25 groups across the country...

i also say the Samaritans, because. When depression really takes a grip, you feel that no one is available for you, all doors are shut, no one is hearing you...the Samaritans is again not just about suicide prevention it’s about hearing despair, sadness, hopelessness, and offing a listening ear for the caller to unload their troubles and vent to a stranger who won’t take what the caller says to heart like family and friends do because we are conditioned to.

look into E.F.T. On the internet on YouTube...it’s called emotional freedom technique, or Tapping.

its a form of Mindfulness and with practice is very useful at getting anxiety under control, and if that remains calm depression tends not to escalate and deepen...

MIND...run relaxation courses including mindfulness, as do Maggie...

they are all tools to help deal with depression....

H2O  ...our friend Water...is the most important dietary requirement on earth to help with our overall well being....but in mental health vital...

water flushes out toxins from our body, helps cell growth, speeds up water removial ..both fluid and solid..

but by staving off dehydration water keeps our brain balanced , working and self maintaining our whole body....it’s hard to drink 8 pints a day if your told to......but if you have a small beaker...330ml....by the sink...and fill and drink it every hour  , for 16 hrs a day you rack up 8 pints a day...substitute water with tea, coffee, juice, herbal teas, just hot water, etc... they all mount up to fluid intake...

when you are well hydrated you think better your more rational, your by default brighter more hopeful..

sorry for long long post but I’m a bit passionate about men’s health.....because sadly as men we don’t always talk about our health issues and it’s the silence that causes further complications that can be avoided..

I wish you your dad and your family the very best

Thank you ,I will look into Maggie's. He has been prescribed antidepressants today and palliative care are going to come and talk to him about his feelings. My mum keeps a very accurate diary and has tried the little and often but he is now just refusing to drink anything near what he should. He had 3 coffees yesterday. I think its depression that's holding him back now and hoping it's not been picked up to late. Thank you so much for your reply

Hi and welcome to the online community

I see that you've already had lots of great replies to ways that you can support your dad.

To bring your questions to a wider audience could I recommend that you join the lung cancer group, where you can ask questions and share experiences relating to your dad's treatment, and the family and friends group where you can discuss your worries and get support.

To join just click on the links I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the pages that open. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

When you have a minute it would be really useful if could pop something about your dad's journey so far into your profile as it helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

x

Dear

i just wanted to say I found the conversations I had with my community Macmillan nurse who visited me at home very beneficial. No topic is off limits and I found this very cathartic, it’s not always possible to speak freely with family members as you want to protect them.