About 2-3 weeks ago we discovered my dad had lesions on the brain. He had a few days in hospital and then he came home waiting for biopsy results. He then went back in again and had more bleeds, about 17 in total.
He is now at home having palliative care. I'm not convinced my stepmum understands the stage he is at. He has some memory and speech problems now and repeats himself a lot. Which is quite draining. Last night he wanted a class of wine and there wasnt much in the house so he wanted her to go out and fetch some. She refused and she says he got quite aggressive and nearly hit her. (Not entirely sure how exaggerated that is).
Thing is we dont know where to go for help or what's available. More importantly how to get my stepmum to accept that she cant do it on her own. She keeps saying that's things need to change, but they arent going to change.
The district nurses have been out and that's about it. What else can we do? She is clueless about money cos my dad does it all.
At what stage do I stop going to work and have time off to deal with things? My sister currently has 4 weeks off.
Thank you for reading. Hope it all makes sense cos I'm really confused, not sure I'm ready for this stage of being an adult.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about the challenges your dad's diagnosis is being.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions on all the family but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot.
Can I first direct you to this link to our very supportive Supporting Someone with Incurable Cancer group. This is a good places where you can connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.
To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited so you may find our Carers Only and Friends and Family
You do need to talk with your mum and dad's GP and talk about the best way forward in this as they can arrange for Community Health to assess the needs and put help in place........ but as you are experiencing, this may be a challenge.
Can I also highly recommend our various Macmillan Support Line Services - you can call them free on 0808 808 00 00 This service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
You may want to put some information in your profile can help a lot Click here to see how to add details as this helps everyone to see a little about you
All the very best ((hugs))
