hi
I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer October, I’ve had a breast conserving operation ( think that’s what it’s called ! )and some lymph nodes taken . I’m due to start various treatments shortly but waiting on Onco test results first . I’m very positive but my partner can’t cope and has told me he wants to run away , he’s told me he is frightened . He keeps his distance and I find this is harder to deal with than the cancer ! And on top of this I’ve had to stop my HRT , I’m very strong and in a good place mentally other than this , Any advice appreciated
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community although I'm sorry that you've had to find us.
Sadly some people find it difficult to cope when their partner is diagnosed with cancer and it must be very hard for you trying to cope with this at the same time as coming to terms with your diagnosis. You might like to take a look at this information from Macmillan on talking and relationships to see if it would help your situation.
I see that you have joined the breast cancer group and I'm sure if you post there you will find others who have been in the same position as you and who will be willing to share their experiences with you. Clicking on the link I've created will take you back to the group where you can then introduce yourself and ask questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute it would be really useful if could pop something about your journey so far into your profile as it helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi latchbrook
firstly thank you so much for responding as I won’t lie , last night was the first time I went on here and curious about my treatment I started by joining a breast cancer group, quickly realised it
as not for me . It frightened me to death ! I ended up distraught as I felt omg It s really downhill from here ! I quickly came off here , called my partner in tears and said what I had done !
Anyway today I have chatted with a friend of mine and am ok again , just read your story and it’s banished my fear . What I did was read through some of the posts of people who I think are so much further along their journey than me , who had tried everything and they discussed the terrible side effects and the effect on their lives and for me as newly diagnosed it wasn’t a good experience! But today I’ve learned don’t read too much and remain positive ! I’m only at the start of this .
My name is louise , I’m 52 work full time and my partner works abroad so he’s not around much !
Thank you so much for your reassuring words and hug 
sending you one right back
Hi again , I put up a post on another ‘New to Community’ post that you had posted in and just noticed this post, you have revived some great support from my friend latchbrook.
The Community does indeed have so many stories and with this the whole spectrum of treatment journeys, but what I find is the Hope - you are talking with people who put their trust and indeed Hope in our wonderful NHS.
Be encouraged that although you and your husbands minds are a whirlwind - things will start to calm down, some order will come into your situation and that Hope will start to build.
I have been on my cancer journey for over 20 years now, back in 1999 I was told that my rare type of Lymphoma was not curable, my team said that they would not even be able to get me into any type of long term remission.......... fast forward 17 years to the 19 September 2016 and I was told I was in Remission and NED (No Evident Disease).
My family and I are living life to the full knowing that we can’t control the future but we can live and enjoy the here and now.
Connect in with the wonderful and inspirational folks on the Breast cancer group - you will not regret it.
((hugs)) from a whiteish Highlands x
Hi Louise
Thanks very much for the hug - I always appreciate a hug - and I'm glad that reading my story helped calm your fears. I do understand that it can be very scary reading stories from people here who aren't doing so well but there are lots of us who are doing well and there's no reason to think at this point that you won't be joining us 
Probably the best thing to do is to start a new post in the breast cancer group, introducing yourself and asking any questions that you have. That way, hopefully, you'll get lots of positive responses which is what you need right now. Remember also, that if you have treatment it doesn't mean that you'll get the same side effects as people you've read about. Some people sail through treatment with no or hardly any side effects.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
