Telling family

Morning 

Can I offer you a warm welcome to the Mac Community, not a club anyone ever wanted to join :-/

Talking about this with Family and Friends can be a mind game in itself - Who to tell, what to say, how much info, what questions will they ask...... The lack of tears early on is common, it can take a while for your brain to realise and accept what the heck just happened but be prepared for it when it happens - Tears in the shower are far better than in the supermarket - literally anything can set you off.

There is a Mac Info page about Talking to Family & Friends about Cancer here you can have a look at - and also this very active (and friendly) Breast Group you can join.

If you are having surgery next week you should 'spill the beans' fairly soon to give them time to accept what is going on - chances are you won't be in hospital for more than a couple of days at most but they will probably want to visit you. 

They usually wait at least 4 weeks, up to 6 weeks post surgery as you need to be fully healed before they can start chemo. Don't fret about the wait between treatments the surgery removes the cancer meaning the chemo is a back up therapy.

Although sorry to read your bro in law didn't make it; It is great your mum is a cancer survivor my wife is also a survivor and went through BC treatments in 2012 and is still classed as having no evidence of disease it reassures you that this do'able.

Hope this is of some help for now...

Look forward to seeing you in the breast group at some time, hugs, G n' J

Thank you for the point you made that surgery is removing the cancer and chemo is back up treatment. I liked that comment in that the first step is essential and it's soon. I'm only a day patient for surgery so thought I'd be able to go do it in a day and then stay in bed and rest for the 4 weeks without anyone knowing. Maybe I'm being niave but I had breast lift surgery before and hid it from my whole family (kids included)

I think it's sinking in today a bit more, I'm grateful for his group already 

Hi 

To be honest that doesn't sound a tad naive - but this is a bit more off the scale compared to a breast lift - even if you hid this for 4 weeks in the run up to Christmas the first hug you got would give them a clue something wasn't right.

You could at a pinch tell them when you are back home but don't leave it any longer, they would feel terribly hurt you couldn't confide in them -  even if you think you are protecting them from bad news I'm sure they would rather be told.

My mother kept secrets and left her cancer diagnosis far too late before telling anyone and we spent weeks wringing our hands wondering why :-/

Take care, G n' J