Losing hair feeling like a shell of the person I was.

FormerMember over 5 years ago

2 replies
24 subscribers
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Anyone else feel really rubbish the day after chemotherapy and just have a day where you can't stop crying?

I am a 34 year old lady with liver and adrenal gland cancer, chemotherapy has taken my hair, which I have embraced as let's be honest I'd rather be alive and bald than have hair and shorten my life. But I just feel so ugly and a shell of the real me. I know fighting hard but I just want you to all know, you are beautiful and with positivity and a reason to fight we will all be better for it.

I have never posted on here before, I hope this was OK to write. Sometimes a rant is needed, just feeling alone and not needed.

Hope you are all having a great day, much love xx

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hi,

I understand exactly how you feel and want to let you know that you’re beautiful, too.
I had chemo last year after being diagnosed Jan 2018 and I cut my hair myself, but not all the way as I was still in the denial stage and thought I was in “control” of my situation. Eventually, my Dad shaved my head until what was left of my hair fell out on its own. What I found the hardest was forgetting what was happening to me but then catch my reflection and be reminded. As vain as it sounds, although I felt sick I didn’t want to look sick. Almost like I didn’t want anyone to know because I blamed myself for what was happening to me.

Cry all you want and allow yourself to feel all the emotions, then remind yourself that you’re doing everything you’re supposed to be doing and you’re doing your best.

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Dear charellis, it’s perfectly alright to have a bad day, none of this stuff is easy. I’ve learnt to go with the flow, if I’m having a bad day I dont waste my energy fighting how I feel, but if I am feeling ok I make sure I do something I enjoy. As for feeling ugly, I love a quote from Helen Keller

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.