First post - What do I say to my 3 year old?

Hi,  I am so sorry to hear about your father in law. My father is in the same position and he is currently in hospice care but he will come home soon, as that is where we want and he wants to be.  I am heartbroken and like your husband I am finding it extremely tough going.

He has a young great grandchild who loves him to bits as he does her. Though he is very poorly and she sees him this way, at the moment we have just explained that he is poorly and nothing more.  I think we will wait until the time arrives for him to sleep.

The support we have received from Macmillan has been invaluable as has the support and advise I have been given on here. So please keep reading.

I wish you and your family the very best and I am so sorry that I write to you in these cicircumstances. I truly understand the pain of it all.

Love,

Michaela x

Hi  and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your father in law.

A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and questions on all the family but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot.

I see that you have found our Friends and Family Group, you may also find Carers Only and Supporting Someone with Incurable Cancer groups to be good places where you can connect with others support family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.

Just follow the links above, hitting ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name, then go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab and set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.

We also have this section on Talking to Children and Teenagers about Cancer - just hit the link.

www.macmillan.org.uk/.../advice-on-talking-to-children-about-cancer.html

My granddaughters were 2 and 3 when ai was going through my main treatment and it was all touch and go if I would get out the other end but we kept it all simple and said granddad was poorly and they had to look after me, we gave them crafts to do, to make stuff for me and grandma - they just did what kids did........ never had to deal with ‘the end’ but our then 2 year old lost her other grandma and she took it in her stride and even 3-4 years on still talks about her.

You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.

It may help your husband to talk with a professional face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

All the best ((hugs))