Hi everyone!
I'm Rose and I'm new!
Earlier this year, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has since had a lumpectomy (removing the lump, surrounding tissue and a number of lymph nodes) and is currently halfway through her chemotherapy. Following chemotherapy, she will undergo radiotherapy.
Although I do have fantastic support from my partner, dad and other relatives, I wanted to join the community to find others who understand what I am feeling like and what I am going through, as a close relative to an important person (in my life) who has and is undergoing treatment for cancer. People who understand the constant wave of emotions. All the way through her journey so far, my mum has been very strong, brave and she remains very positive. It has been really hard, however, watching my life long best friend suffer from the harsh side effects of her treatment. I am fully aware that this is a lot more about my mum than it is about me and I am constantly doing my best to help cheer her up, keep her strong and provide as much of a helping hand as I can. Between my dad, my partner and I, my mum is very well looked after but my partner is constantly trying to remind me not to forget about how this is all impacting me whilst I am trying to help steady the ship for everyone else.
I'm currently finding it quite hard to keep my emotions at ease, frequently getting upset and finding my 'fuse' to be very short. I feel like the extra jobs I have taken on board to help out at home, dealing with a very full on and stressful full time job, trying to deal with the stresses of other areas (finances, etc) and the constant fear of secondary breast cancer later on, I almost feel like I want to run away screaming!
I will always go up and beyond to do everything I can for my mum. Not only do I love her dearly but it is my duty, especially after the wonderful life that she has provided me. It's just coming to that point where it is all becoming a little bit too much!
Thank you for allowing me to not only join this community but for also letting me ramble on (and for reading it if you have got this far!)
Hi Rose and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your mum and of course the challenges around supporting her.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and questions on all the family but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot.
Can I first direct you to this link to our very supportive Breast cancer group as this will open up your concerns to a wider audience who know exactly what you and your mum are going through at the moment.
Just follow the link above, hitting ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name, then go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab and set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.
As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited, although my wife has been amazing over my 20 years. You may also find our As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited, although my wife has been amazing over my 20 years. You may also find our Carers Only and Friends and Family groups to be good places where you can connect with others support family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.
This site is organised into various groups and we also have groups that are general Cancer experience support groups.
You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the very best.
