Bowel and liver cancer

Hi  and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear  about your dad.

A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and questions but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot.

You need to talk with your dads GP as they have access to all the local community care in your dads area.

Can I direct you to these links to our very supportive Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer and Liver cancer groups as this will open up your concerns to a wider audience who know exactly what you are going through at the moment.

Just follow the links above, hitting ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name, then go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab and set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.

As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited, although my wife has been amazing over my 20 years. You may also find our As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited, although my wife has been amazing over my 20 years. You may also find our Carers Only and Friends and Family groups to be good places where you can connect with others support family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.

You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.

I see that you have found our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.

Our Online Information and Support Section  is a good place to find information covering cancer diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers.

Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.

All the very best.

hi

in addition to the above excellent advice ...

I found it difficult to eat, I had an appetite but once the food was in front of me I just felt nauseous and could only pick at it. I can give you a longer explanation of my situation if you need it but when my mother was struggling to eat I had felt that offering her food would be beneficial but my brother got pretty cross with me, saying she could only tolerate sips of a fortified drink. I now realise that is a side effect of cancer cells circulating, this complete lack of appetite or nausea at the prospect of food. 

At 76 we're on the downhill slope, the run in, the final few furlongs, and at some point he will feel that it might be time to let nature take its course. If he does try not to judge him. My uncle chose not to eat, although he was drinking a few sips of fluids, he was 79 and I really wanted him to see 80, and I really don't know why I was so hung up on that number. 

Bowel and liver means he's effectively incurable and at 76 his treatment plans are going to be palliative and, some might say, 'short term'.

A friends father was in his 80s and pretty fit as far as I could tell, apart from not remembering who I was, he walked and talked, still drove his car, and generally was quite chipper and that was six months before he died.  In the end they decided he had terminal lung cancer, zero cough, and spent his last few weeks in a care home. He was only picking at his food the last time we had lunch but I didn't spot it at the time. 

When I was going through chemo I knew I needed to eat. And I knew I needed to eat to replenish the vitamins and minerals I could see were decreasing each month in the blood tests.  

That means 'little and often' and a wide variety of foods. Tricky without a private 5* chef on call. 

For me this worked.  Porridge. 

Porridge can be finely ground or course depending on what's tolerable. You can make it more runny or thicker depending on which consistency is preferred.  You can add cream to add calories. You can add honey for essential nutrients and sweetness. Fruit spreads like 100% fruit St Dalfour are economic in this situation. 

I also added chopped up fruit, dried fruit, nuts and seeds but you'll need to test that out. Bananas make some people gagg and seeds are difficult to chew.

I knew I needed to eat apples, but just couldn't face biting into them, but chopped up into the porridge it was fine. 

A small dose of a kinder chemo, in tablet form,  they are all harsh but some are less harsh than others, might help with the general feeling of nausea caused by the circulating tumour cells. Chemo nausea is different to circulating tumour cells nausea and can be controlled by drugs.

In my humble opinion attempting to feed him up to survive another 10 years might be an unreachable dream but making his last couple of years more comfortable is an honourable mission. 

Finding a way to fill the time in a productive way is also a challenge, nobody wants to sit around waiting to die. 

Local hospices are, apparently, very good. Nobody likes 'change' and a a full on social life might not be too attractive at 76 with a fairly serious illness but the chance to mingle with a few other people and talk about things frankly might be what he needs, on the other hand some resist this option.

What we want at the end of our lives is as complex and individual as we are.  

Marie Curie's new advert is very good. They are trying to encourage people to talk about "popping their clogs" but it will be as contentious as Marmite. 

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/talkabout?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=brand2019&utm_term=marie%20curie&utm_content=393032461579&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItKuS3ML05QIVj0TTCh1fbQVOEAAYASAAEgIucvD_BwE

Photo albums are fantastic for reminiscing ... 

Carolyn

xxx