Newbie looking for help & guidance on behalf of a friend!

FormerMember over 5 years ago

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I'm new to this site, have had various experiences of cancer (other peoples) in the past 20 years. I'm looking for advice for my work colleague & not sure where to look!!

Basically her mothers cancer diagnosis was very sudden & a complete shock, it's already spread to several areas of her body & she's gone from being fit as a fiddle to requiring help to get around etc in the space of a few weeks! My work colleague is only 23 & her mum has done everything for her until now, so you can imagine she's feeling terrified right now. At the moment the main issue is that she's caring for her mum when she's not at work, this involves taking her mum to the toilet etc and cleaning her up afterwards. This happens during the night too, my friend is doing it because she's the only one in the family that is willing to do it, is there any help she can get for this kind of thing?

Sorry for the long post!

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Dear farmers wife, in my experience the best way to access practical help in the community is via a patient’s general practitioner, they have all the relevant contacts and can refer patients to be assessed for support. it’s so important to get yourself on the radar and make everyone aware of your needs. Your friend might want to check out the carers uk website as they have a help line that can provide carers with help and information. Of course you can help by being a good listener as your friend will be needing a listening ear right now. In situations like this it’s the practical help that reduces the stress levels so you have to focus on that initially rather than trying to struggle on indefinitely on your own. None of us should be left entirely on our own to cope.

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hi and welcome to the online community.

It's very good of you to be concerned about your work colleague, she must have confided in you for you to try and find support for her and I hope the following will help.

Your work colleague needs to realise quickly that she can't do this on her and I would suggest that she arranges for a Social Care Needs Assessment and the following explains what it entails

Care needs assessment explained

Your work colleague should start the ball rolling by looking at the following and Apply for a needs assessment she can do this direct to The Adult Social Care Team or she can have her mum's GP to arrange but I would think that could be quicker applying direct.

If your work colleagues mum is receiving elderly persons state pension she should apply for an Attendance Allowance

Attendance Allowance explained

Attendance Allowance is not means tested and has two levels depending on her needs, daytime only or daytime and night. This is not a charity payment but an entitlement she needs.

Also your work colleague should consider having a Carers needs assessment which is an assessment to see how she is coping with looking after her mum and what help and support she needs. Both assessments can be carried out at the same time if she and mum are in agreement.

I have found that AGEUK to be very helpful when it comes to filling out application forms and giving advice.

At Macmillans we have a telephone support team who are available every day between 8 am and 8 pm to give help, support and advice. The friendly team can be contacted on 0808 808 0000 and I would suggest that your colleague makes the phone call as soon as possible.

I hope that this gives your colleague some help on where she can go for help and she is very welcome to join the forum in her own right where we can answer her questions directly.

Ian