Hi everyone. I need to be pointed in the right direction as I don't know where to turn and have been advised that this is the best place to start. My 82 year old Mum has low grade non-hodgkins and one of her symptons that is the most debilitating is depression. This is exacerbated by the fact that she is (by choice) the main carer for my 86 year old Dad, who has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia. They are both getting all kinds of support from family, friends and social care, but Mum insists she is having to cope alone and always has a complaint about every type of help she gets. I am sure she feels that she is alone coping with this and nobody understands. The support she receives is amazing, but obviously not quite all she needs. Can anyone suggest an online group that could offer anything in the way of coping for my Mum with cancer related depression or as a carer who is also managing with cancer. It would be for my siblings and me to use any information as Mum wouldn't use online forums andi t would take too long to explain how she feels about joining groups. I do feel that this is a small issue compared to what other people on this site are going through, but the effect of my Mum's depression is affecting the relationships of her family and friends - imagine spending the day providing respite, taking a load of washing home and then being berated in the supermarket by a family friend for leaving Mum to deal with everything (Mum had spent the day playing golf and that is exactly what she should be able to do).
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us.
I am Mike Thehighlander and I am dropping in past from our Non-Hodgkin lymphoma group just to say Hi and try and help you navigate the site.
First your mum's NHL will not be helped with taking on what she will see as the main caring roll - so she does need to look after herself.
As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited, although my wife has been amazing over my 20 years. You may also find our Careers Only and Friends and Family groups are good places where you can connect with others support family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.
Just follow the link above, hitting ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name, then go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab and set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.
You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
If you have a Maggie’s Centre in your area it would be worth dropping in past and having a word with the amazing team.
When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the very best.
