Hi we gave just found out my husband has got urethral cancer that has also spread to his lymph nodes. We were told that if it hasn't spread any further that he would have to have his lumps and penis removed. If it has spread ( which we think it has due to lumps growing almost daily) he has only a few months to live. We have to wait for a CT scan and an MRI scan for confirmation. I know we should try and be positive till we get the results but I'm scared. I feel I need to put things in place incase of the worst happening. My husband does everything financially, I haven't a clue and don't know how I'll cope without him.
I also don't want to let him out if my sight incase that's the last time I see him. I know it's an irrational fear but it's how I feel. I also don't want to waste the time we might have left if the worst happens. He on the other hand wants to keep going to work and try to keep things normal which I understand but if this is all the time we have left.....
The way things are going it will probably be another 2 to 3 weeks before we get results. How do we cope until then? Does anybody have any practical tips that helped them.
I know I'm not a very strong or positive person and know I need to try and be for my husband, but how can I be when faced with losing the one I love?
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am so sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your husband. This is such a hard time for all the family, with lots of questions and what if's.
We do have lots of support groups that are Cancer specific, from my experience talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot.
As I was the person with the cancer my experience of supporting someone is very limited, although my wife has been amazing over my 20 years. You may also find our Careers Only, Friends and Family and Supporting Someone with Incurable Cancer groups a good place where you can connect with others support family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.
Have a quick look through the groups and once you find a place that you feel you can connect, just follow the link(s). Hit the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name, then go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab and set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.
You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find information covering cancer diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the very best.
